Together We Stand
by BrOkEn2NiTe
Summary: Severus seeks redemption for his past while Hermione seeks hope for the future in the middle of a brutal and bloody war. Will they be able to stand together or will their new found feelings crumble in the face of the Dark Lord? SSHG/RLHG, RR REWRITE
1. Chapter 1 Fractured

Chapter 1

Killing fractures the soul.

When someone takes a life in cold blood, their soul splinters like glass, breaking into shards. It must be an act done with evil intent, for murder is the most heinous of acts. _Think of your soul_, he'd said. _Think of your soul_.

Those words echoed throughout the highly intelligent mind of Hermione Granger as she stared out the rain streaked window. Becoming Head Girl had its advantages, like her own set of rooms and bathroom connected to Gryffindor tower. As she sat in her window seat watching the rain come down, she let the tears fall that she'd been holding back all evening. It was dark outside, but when the lightning snaked across the sky like fingers reached for her, the stark white tomb became momentarily visible. There was no denying the truth. There was no shutting her eyes and being blind to the reality that she now faced. Voldemort had risen. Soon there would be war. And the only man who the Dark Lord had ever feared was dead.

There lay Albus Dumbledore in his white tomb, lifeless, and with him, all Hermione's hopes and security.

She'd sent her parents away right after Dumbledore's funeral. She'd done her most powerful and impressive magic to date, weaving intricate memories, erasing herself from their lives so thoroughly that even her image in photographs ceased to be. Like an artist, she painted a new life for them. They would sell their home. They would sell their Dental Practice. They would move far away from Great Britain. Yes, Australia would be quite a lovely place to retire to. And there, they would start anew. And like a tailor, she stitched their lives back together so tightly that their lives would be quite complete without her, or so she thought. All of this was accomplished with a few simple choice words and the flick of her wand. Hermione would never know that the Granger's, though they couldn't quite be sure why, never felt complete. To them, there was always some lingering, unspoken feeling that they were forgetting something. Their pictures didn't look right. Hermione was unaware that her parents would feel her loss whether they could remember her or not. The love a mother and father feel for their child is not a subject one cannot learn from books. It must be experienced.

Hermione had stayed with the Weasley's that summer. She and Ron had planned in secret for their quest to find the four remaining Horcruxes of Lord Voldemort. They knew it was a quest the trio was very unlikely to return from whole. They spoke quietly of the consequences to come from following Harry on his journey to the end the life of the most terrifying, evil, and nearly immortal Wizard in history. But they knew that there was no choice to be made. They would not leave their best friend to take on this task alone. Dumbledore had trusted in them and their abilities enough to charge them with the mission. They knew this on the day Rufus Scrimgeor, the Minister of Magic, had turned up at The Burrow to dole out items left to them in Dumbledore's will.

Hermione had been shocked. Harry was the only one of the trio who could claim to have had any real relationship with the infamous Wizard. What on earth did he have to leave her?

Ron received Dumbledore's own invention, the Deluminator. It was a silver device that looked akin to a Muggle cigarette lighter. Ron tested the item and with one simple click, the light in the room seemed to be sucked out of the air itself. He clicked it again and the light returned to the room.

To Hermione, Dumbledore left a book. _The Tales of Beedle the Bard. Hermione_, being Muggle born, had never heard of Beedle the Bard, but Ron excitedly informed her that they were the bedtime stories of the Wizarding world. Hermione flipped open the cover to see if anything had been written inside, perhaps a clue to why she had been given this book in particular. Nothing was written, but as she was closing the book, her eyes caught something peculiar. A triangle with a line down the middle and a circle in the center, like a crude eye, had been hastily drawn on the upper left-hand corner of the inside cover. Hermione didn't draw attention to it, not with Scrimgeor eyeing her suspiciously the entire time. No, she would examine it later.

Hermione reached into her robe for her wand. She held it in her hands for a moment, appraising and admiring it. With a swish of her wrist she summoned _The Tales of Beedle the Bard_ to her side. She smiled, enjoying the familiar tingle in the palm of her wand hand. She loved magic. When she was five, she'd misplaced her favorite blanket. She'd frantically searched the house to no avail, so she sat in the middle of the floor in her bedroom and began to sob. Suddenly she'd felt herself being wrapped in something soft and warm, and when she opened her eyes, she saw that it was her blanket! She'd looked around the room for her mother and father, but saw no one. It was as if the blanket had appeared out of thin air. Hermione, being very clever for a five year old, began to suspect that there was something different about her. As she grew older, these strange occurrences kept happening, especially when she was in distress or very angry. She began to devour every fairy tale and work of literature on the subject of magic, trying to find a clue of some kind to her strange abilities.

When she received her letter from Hogwarts: School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, she was beside herself with excitement. All the years of strange happenings finally made sense! Hermione was a witch. Magic was _real_! It was almost too good to be true.

_And it was_, Hermione thought sadly, gazing at the book in her lap. Yes, magic could be wielded to create beautiful and wondrous sites. It could be used to save lives and perform things that Muggles would have called miraculous. But magic had a terrible dark side that Hermione had never imagined. Magic could be misused for dark and evil deeds, creating literal living nightmares. No, she hadn't stepped out of the real world and into a fairy tale the day that she'd boarded the Hogwarts Express. Fairy tales had no room for nightmares.

Hermione opened the book and looked at the strange symbol. She'd examined the mark dozens of times and was always more puzzled than when she'd started. She still had no idea what it was, but she did have a fairly good idea about what it wasn't. Hermione had scoured the library and spent many restless nights searching through books on Ancient Runes and found nothing resembling the mysterious symbol. She knew she had to find some answers soon. When it came to their search for the remaining Horcruxes, time was of the essence.

Horcruxes. Not only did they have to find them, but they had to find a way to destroy them as well. She shivered and pulled her knees close to her chest. The more she had learned about Horcruxes, the more horrified she became. Horcruxes could only be made by splitting one's own soul and putting the splintered off piece in an object or living organism. The only way to split a soul is to murder. And Lord Voldemort had not only created one Horcrux, which was terrifying enough to think about, but several. What kind of a person could willingly do that to themselves? _Not a person_, Hermione decided. No human being would willingly take a life so selfish and callously. Only a monster could do that.

Hermione could picture herself killing, if she wanted to be honest. She would probably be forced to by the end of the war, if she was still alive. But that was killing in defense of self and loved ones. That would leave her soul undamaged. She might suffer physically and emotionally, but her soul would remain unblemished. She had never considered taking another life out of rage or revenge. _Not until tonight_, she thought darkly.

She shook her head, willing the memories away. She wanted to forget tonight had ever happened. She did not want to think about the event that was now keeping her from sleep. But it couldn't be helped. His voice slithered through her mind like an unholy serpent and would not be ignored. She had to remember. _Think of your soul_…

They planned it for the first Hogsmeade weekend, a decently warm September Saturday. Hermione, Harry, and Ron had been given a job to do by Dumbledore and they were going to do it. Harry had also been paid a visit from the lionish Minister of Magic and received an inheritance from the late Headmaster. The first golden Snitch that Harry had ever caught and the sword of Godric Gryffindor. Scrimgeour, however, would not relinquish the sword to Harry, saying that it did not belong to Dumbledore, but the school, and therefore had not been his to give. They all knew there was more to each of their gifts than met the eye, including the sword, but they didn't have time to figure out what it was. Attacks attributed to Death Eaters were becoming more frequent and wide scale. More and more Muggle murders blamed on sadistic and ritualistic serial killers were being whispered about. Missing Witches and Wizards, many presumed dead, but some believed to have joined Voldemort and his followers. They had to begin their search before it was too late.

The trio decided not to divulge the information to the Order. No one in The Order of the Phoenix would consent to three teenagers going in search (and probably to their deaths) of at least four unknown, dangerous, very hidden items. At least they knew about the locket. Hermione knew it was insane, but felt they had no alternative. They had to track down whoever R.A.B. was and make sure the locket Horcrux had truly been destroyed. But first they had to get away.

When Harry turned seventeen, the charm that had kept him safe at the Dursley's home was lifted and he was immediately escorted to The Burrow. They began planning in secret, adding onto the plans Hermione and Ron had already made, but Molly Weasley seemed to have kept an unusually close eye on the three. When the school term started, the Professors who were also members of The Order kept an extra close watch on the three as well. Hermione guessed that they must have been over heard by one of the Weasley tribe, probably one of the twins with their extendable ears. Curse them and their listening devices, though they did come in handy on occasion.

Because of this, they figured it would be near impossible to sneak off the castle grounds, even with Harry's Invisibility Cloak. And so they decided to bide their time and wait till opportunity presented itself. And it did, that Saturday in Hogsmeade.

Hermione charmed a small satchel to be bottomless and weightless and stuffed it full of supplies. Anything and everything that she thought they would need went into the bag. Clothes, imperishable food items, a tent, sleeping bags, toiletries, books-literally everything. She'd been well prepared when the moment they'd been waiting for finally arrived.

Professor Flitwick had been none too stealthy about following the three of them all through the streets of Hogsmeade nearly the entire afternoon. In the bookstore he pretended to flip through the latest Charms academic journals while stealing glances of them through the corner of his spectacles. They caught him following them outside Honeydukes and Hermione had to suppress laughter as the small statured man tried to hide behind a potted plant. What they needed was a diversion. Upon spying a few Third year Slytherin's enchanting balls of dirt to fly at a few First years Gryffindor's nearby, Hermione got an idea.

She felt quite guilty for it. Hermione had become much more relaxed when it came to breaking the rules, despite having become Head Girl, but this had been pushing it. She had the boys create a dozen balls of mud using a spell to bring forth water. She then gave the boys strict instruction, waved her wand and said "_Loco Motar_!" The balls of mud, one by one, pelted Flitwick square in the face with enough force to knock him to the ground. Hermione winced as he tried to clean the mud off his glasses, only to be hit in the face with another one, sending his glasses flying. Before they all started to feel too guilty, they fled for the Shrieking Shack. Upon hearing several different loud voice calling their names angrily, Hermione Apparated them to the first place she could think. Godric's Hollow.

The old cobblestone streets of Godric's Hollow were busy with people wandering to and fro that afternoon. The sky was clear and the sun was high in the sky, perfect weather for the small children who were running around in front of their homes. No one so much as glanced at the three teenagers. Hermione smiled at the quaint little village, liking the atmosphere of the place.

They ducked down a small alleyway and changed out of their school robes, all silently wondering what their next move should be.

They wandered down what seemed to be the main road of the village, eyeing the modest houses and a small market. Hermione smiled as two young children played Exploding Snaps on their doorstep. It didn't take them long to stumble upon an old wrought iron fence surrounding a few hundred headstones.

Hermione and Ron glanced at one another and then to Harry, who had stopped in his tracks. When he pushed open the small waist-high gate, they didn't hesitate to follow. Hermione knew that they could search for an hour and never find the grave she knew Harry wanted to see, so she pulled out her wand. She muttered a few words and a ball of light appeared, hovered momentarily before her eyes, and then sped off into the somber rows with the trio not far behind.

Hermione hung back when the light finally stopped and winked out. She looked at the gray stone, standing like guards over the dead. They all inched toward the marker, the inscription large and visible.

James Potter

Born: 27 March 1960

Died: 31 October 1981

Lily Potter

Born: 30 January 1960

Died: 31 October 1981

Tears filled Hermione's eyes as she read the sentence that had been placed beneath their names.

"_The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death_."

"I don't understand the inscription," Harry said, his voice sounding choked. "It sounds more like Voldemort's philosophy."

Hermione shook her head. "I don't think that's what it means, Harry. I think it's referring to life after death. The love they shared in this life couldn't be overshadowed by it."

Harry smiled at her gratefully and held out his hand. He didn't want to do this alone. Hermione stepped forward and took Harry's extended hand. Ron quickly moved to her other side and took her other hand. Together, like everything else they had faced thus far, they stepped forward until they were standing directly in front of the marker.

"Hello Mum, Dad," Harry whispered. With his free hand he reached out to touch the roughly cut stone.

Upon contact, Hermione's eyes went wide. She'd felt the familiar tug at her naval, and suddenly the colors of the world blurred together. Hermione was sent hurling through space with hardly a moment to think before her feet hit the ground so hard that she nearly fell over.

She pulled her wands from her robes as quick as she could, as did the boys, and prepared to defend herself. As the trio became aware of their surroundings, however, they all nearly fainted when they realized their wands were pointed directly in the face of a very cross looking Molly Weasley.

The three of them lowered their wands, but not completely. Molly looked very put out and they were no fools. They tried backing up a few paces but were stopped when they hit something hard and solid. They dared a glance over their shoulders and saw an angry Hagrid, arms crossed over his large chest, scowling down at them. Hermione tried to smile, but this only made him glare harder.

Hermione looked around the room and realized that she hadn't the foggiest idea as to where they were, but the room was packed with various Witches and Wizards. She fathomed they were in someone's living room, judging by the couches and high-backed arm chair in front of a large fireplace with a rough stone hearth.

"What on God's green earth were you three thinking?" Molly seethed, causing Hermione to snap to attention like a soldier being called to rank. As soon as Harry opened his mouth to explain, Molly burst into tears and pulled them all into a hug stronger than Hermione would have thought the small woman capable of. "I was so…so…scared!"

"Blimey Mum," Ron gasped, barely able to catch his breath. "We couldn't have been gone an hour."

"Clearly that is not the point, Mr. Weasley!" The familiar Scottish lilt of Professor and now Headmistress McGonagall's voice sounded like the crack of a whip. Hermione saw her emerge from the fireplace in sparkling green school robes, dusting the soot off the bottom. She fixed her spectacled eyes on Hermione, causing her to pale. "These two," McGonagall said with a pointed look to Harry and Ron. "I am hardly surprised. But you, Miss Granger? And poor Filius! He'll be digging mud out of his ears for a fortnight!"

Hermione winced. She heard the fire crackle again and turned in time to see a disheveled Remus Lupin emerge from green flames.

"Ah, I see you three have been found," Remus said with a glare.

"Bloody caught, is more like," Ron muttered, loud enough to earn a pointed look from his father, who had now joined his wife.

"Should have known better Ronnie," said his twin brother Fred. Hermione noticed that the whole Weasley clan was there, save Percy, who apparently still wasn't speaking to his family. Pompous little twit.

"Yeah, how thick are you three?" said George. "Thought The Order would just let you go gallivanting all over the country side, looking for Horcruxes, did you?"

Hermione's jaw dropped.

"How did you know about that?" Harry snapped. "Dumbledore trusted us with this!"

"Yes, to do with The Order's help!" Remus shouted. "God knows what kind of catastrophes would come upon you three out wandering the country on your own!" He stared through veiled eyes toward Hermione, a mixture of emotions playing on his handsome, but scarred face. He looked so tired, as if worry and fright had drained him in the short time that they had been gone. Hermione had spent a lot of time with Remus over the summer, as he was in and out of The Burrow on Order business. He often stayed a few days here and there, happily obliging Hermione in her thirst for intellectual conversation. But somehow, their talks of academics often turned personal, so Hermione knew just how deep his fear must had gone even in the short hour they were missing. Remus had spoken on many occasions about the loss of his two childhood best friends, James Potter and Sirius Black. He felt so responsible for Harry, as if he'd be failing the memory of his fallen companions if any ill ever befell him. Hermione had tried to comfort him, telling him that he couldn't protect them from every evil in the world, especially with Voldemort on the rise, but it did very little to assuage his worries. Hermione looked down at the floor, feeling ashamed.

"Dumbledore told you all about the Horcruxes? Told you what they are, how they are made, and what I must do to destroy them?" Harry asked, needing clarification.

"No, Albus did not." Hermione's head jerked up. A deep, rich, silky voice floated to them from the back of the room. "I did."

The small crowd began to part and make way for the owner of the voice. Hermione's breath caught in her throat as she saw the tall, black clad Wizard approach them, at least a head taller than most everyone else in the room. His midnight hair was longer than she remembered. There were dark circles beneath his equally black eyes, like bruises.

Hermione's heart felt like it would beat itself right out of her chest. Fury coursed through her veins like Phoenix fire, blazing hotter than the sun. As quick as a blink, Hermione's wand was at the base of his throat, accompanied by Ron's and Harry's shortly after.

Everyone in the room gave a small gasp and stepped back in case spells started being lobbed from both sides. At first Hermione thought everyone was shocked at seeing Severus Snape, the man who murdered the most powerful Wizard in the world. But no one stepped toward them to help. No one made exclamations of fear or anger upon seeing him. They were shocked at the trio's reaction, not him showing himself.

_Because they already knew he was here_, Hermione thought.

Snape nodded, as if he'd read her mind. "It is alright, Miss Granger," Snape murmured, his voice sounding softer than she'd ever thought him capable. "Everything can and will be explained."

"Boys, Miss Granger, please lower your wands," McGonagall said, her voice calm and reassuring.

"Yes," Remus agreed, taking a careful step toward them, as if he would step on a land mine at any moment. "Listen to what Severus has to say."

The three did not move.

"How dare you stand here in front of us. Among Dumbledore's people!" Harry ground out. "I saw the look in his eyes! He trusted you!" Harry began to tremble as his voice rose.

Hermione saw Snape flinch. She didn't once take her eyes from his, nor did he avert his smoldering gaze. He didn't seem to consider the boys. It was she whom he was staring at. She was the threat. _But why me_? He nodded again without acknowledging her thoughts. She knew he was a master of Legilmency, but surely she would feel it if he were probing her mind?

"Harry," Remus said, gently reaching out and grasping Harry's wand hand, forcing it to lower. "It's not what you think. It isn't what any of us thought."

This brought Hermione back to her senses. She gripped her wand tightly. "Then what was it then, an allusion!" she shouted. "I watched him fall! I was in the owlery, sending off a letter, and I saw Dumbledoe hit with a flash of green light! I saw his lifeless body hit the ground!"

Snape closed his eyes and released a ragged breath. A pained look crossed his face, as if he were re-living a nightmarish memory. Harry was backed away by Remus' guiding hand, and Ron soon followed suit. But Hermione stayed, leaving only her and Snape standing toe to toe.

"You don't deserve to live. I ought to kill you where you stand," Hermione said, her voice sounding dead and emotionless. She was suddenly exhausted, and found herself swaying on her feet. Molly gasped and called out to her, but Snape held up his hand.

"I have done terrible things in my life, Miss Granger, and been a witness to worse. You're right, I probably do not deserve to be standing before you now." Snape bowed his head and for a moment, Hermione couldn't read his expression. She'd never seen him look anything accept arrogant, angry, or seemingly bored. This was different. He looked…sad. Incredibly sad and ashamed. Hermione thought she might be sick.

"Severus, don't-" McGonagall tried to step forward, toward whom Hermione was never sure, but again Snape raised a halting hand and heaved a heavy sigh.

"Perhaps…perhaps it is too late for me," Snape said. He looked so tired and, if Hermione didn't know better, she'd also say he looked suddenly vulnerable under her gaze. "There are many days that I feel beyond redemption for the monstrous things I've done." Then Snape did something that completely caught Hermione off her guard. He reached up and took her wand hand in his own.

The touch registered in Hermione's brain within seconds and she realized she should pull away. She was sure that he would grasp her wand and throw her back. But instead, Snape wrapped his long, pale fingers around her hand and squeezed lightly, running a calloused thump over her knuckles. She looked at their intertwined hands and then back to his face. His eyes seemed to bore into her, and they looked so sad. They looked as if they'd gazed upon more horrible things than she could ever imagine, and her heart shattered.

"Please," Snape whispered so softly she was sure that no one but her could hear. "Think of your soul."

She inhaled sharply, caught off guard by his words. _Her soul_. He was concerned for her soul. If she killed him, would her soul be damaged? Would she be broken beyond repair?

"Why?" Hermione asked, her voice cracking with emotion, tears falling freely down her face. She didn't know what question she was asking exactly. Why did he kill Dumbledore? Why was he so sad? Why did he care about her soul? Why was he holding her hand? _Why did he want to live?_

"Because, Miss Granger," Snape replied. "I had no choice."

Indeed, Severus Snape had been left with no choice when it came to his role in Albus Dumbledore's death. Hermione had lowered her wand and been lead to the couch by Molly. When Harry and Ron joined her on the couch, Professor McGonagall began to tell the tale of the circumstances surrounding the death of Dumbledore. Hermione didn't take her eyes off Snape throughout the entire explanation, and he never took his eyes off the flickering flames of the fireplace.

Snape had made the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa Malfoy and her sister Bellatrix Lestrange. Draco Malfoy had been given the task of disposing of Dumbledore by the Dark Lord to punish Draco's father, Lucius, for his failure at the Ministry of Magic during their Fifth year. Voldemort knew Draco had no chance of success, and so did his mother. Not long after Snape had made his vow, Dumbledore summoned him due to a severe injury. He had found a Horcrux and something had gone terribly wrong when he had attempted to destroy it. He had been cursed, and it took all of the power Snape possessed to save the elder Wizards life and contain the curse to his right hand. But the curse would spread and Snape had told Dumbledore that he would be dead within the year. Snape had had no intention of fulfilling the Unbreakable Vow. He would have gladly died in Dumbledore's place, but the old Wizard had other plans. Snape was told that he indeed must kill the Headmaster, not Draco. Draco was young and Dumbledore would not allow his soul to be harmed. He felt there was still hope that the boy would not follow in his father's footsteps, and he'd been right. Draco Malfoy had joined the ranks of the Order and, like Snape, was a spy for the light.

Harry had wanted proof, so Snape gave them brief glimpses of his memory.

"What about my soul?" Snape had raged.

"Surely putting an old man out of his misery would do no harm to your soul, don't you think?" Dumbledore had asked. That is where the memory ended. The rest would remain private.

Hermione had been horrified. How could Dumbledore ask such a thing of Snape? Perhaps he hadn't always been the most pleasant of men, but it had been obvious from the slivers of memory that he'd seen that Snape had cared about Dumbledore as much as everyone else in the room, maybe more. Hermione didn't bother to hide her tears. Where anger had once coursed through her, shame and heartbreak made their home.

Before the three teenagers were taken back to Hogwarts, Hermione gave Snape a pleading look. "I'm so sorry, Professor," she had sobbed. "I'm so sorry!"

Snape had simply shaken his head, telling her she was quite justified in her actions. He didn't understand that she wasn't only apologizing for putting a wand at his throat and telling him that he didn't deserve to live. She was sorry for what he had gone through. She was sorry that he'd had his choices taken from him. She never said this out loud, and now, sitting in her rooms, she wished very much that she had.

As Hermione stared out into the storm she caught site of the tomb again. She looked back at the book, wondering what Dumbledore was trying to tell her from beyond the grave. _What is it you want me to find_? she wondered. She wished he were here. She wished the weight of the war was not upon the shoulders of three young people who hadn't a clue at what to do. _I wish you hadn't made him do it._

Somewhere Unplottable, a dark man also sat by a window watching a storm blow through, unbeknownst to the thoughts of a certain Gryffindor, wishing the exact same thing.


	2. Chapter 2 Promises

Chapter 2

_Cabin fever_. That was the illness Severus Snape suffered from. Symptoms are: restlessness, lethargy, and the constant urge to perform an Unforgivable on Werewolf roommate.

The unplottable cottage on the edge of some un-named forest was his prison. Though The Order knew the truth, to the rest of the Wizarding World, Severus was the man that murdered Albus Dumbledore. He was only allowed to leave the cottage under the guise of Polyjuice Potion or Disillusionment charm. Unless he was summoned.

Severus shivered; the Dark Revels were things of nightmares, his nightmares at least. Yes, he was still able to play the role of loyal Death Eater and favored servant of the Dark Lord quite well. When Severus had told his master that he had been welcome back into The Order with open arms, the Dark Lord ravenously probed his mind, searching for any trace of a lie. Severus was sure that his skull would split open, revealing all of his secrets, but managed to conceal the most dangerous of information. The fact that he was able to hide anything from the probing's of the Dark Lord simply proved that Severus was not only extremely skilled in the art of Legilmency, but that he was an exceptionally powerful Wizard. Far more powerful than the Dark Lord knew, otherwise he would have destroyed Severus long ago.

The Dark Lord had been pleased with Severus and instructed him to stay in hiding, per The Order's suggestion, and bide his time. Soon the Death Eater's would overthrow the Ministry of Magic and Severus would have no need to hide. The Dark would rule.

Severus ignored his roiling stomach. He prayed every night that the Ministry would hold just one more day. He would gladly stay in the cottage with bloody Remus Lupin for eternity if that meant the Dark Lord did not gain complete control.

Severus sighed as he walked into the large kitchen and spied Remus sitting on a barstool, his cup of coffee resting on the granite counter tops and the Daily Prophet in hand.

"Any news?" Severus asked, setting himself to make some tea and toast.

"Nothing you don't already know," Remus replied sadly. Severus grunted.

Though he was loathe to admit it, Remus wasn't the worst housemate Severus could had been stuck with. The magically enlarged cottage was big enough that the two men wouldn't have to see one another if they didn't want to, but it seemed that neither minded the others company. The pair had long buried the hatchet for the wrong doings of the past. Remus understood Severus' treatment of him while he was teaching at Hogwarts had been largely for show. Severus admitted to petty pleasure at being able to take a few juvenile jabs at his old childhood enemy, but that was all it was. Severus had resisted a friendship with Remus under the strict belief that friendship was a liability. But living with someone for three months made avoiding absolutely all communication difficult. Remus was quite intelligent and could provide adequate conversation. The Werewolf was also quite fond of chess, and Severus became quite fond of beating him at it.

Alas, befriending Remus had sent Severus on a slippery slope, causing him to let himself become friendly with several other Order members, thus shattering his "greasy git" persona. He had to admit that he didn't mind not having to be the dreaded Potions Master of Hogwarts. No more nasty comments and favoritism in order to keep little Death Eaters in training from questioning his allegiance. The sarcasm, sourness, and habit for rages were very much a part of Severus' personality, but not the cruelty. He had a knack for it, yes, and sometimes he felt the recipient was worthy of his treatment. But, on occasion, a word or action toward a student would turn his stomach sour.

Severus glanced at the wall clock and was surprised at the time. Soon members of the Order would be filling the cottage due to Minerva calling an emergency meeting to discuss the recent goings on with the Ministry and, Severus was sure though Minerva hadn't said as much, the recent happenings with Potter, Granger, and Weasley. As much as he enjoyed Remus' company, he was looking forward to being around other people.

The Gryffindor trio's actions on Saturday last were cause for quite a bit of concern. Severus knew everyone would want to discuss how to keep them from pulling another stunt like that, but he felt it useless. They were on a mission, and no amount of adult supervision was going to stop them. He'd done his best for six years to keep an eye on those three, yet they managed to fight trolls, Dementors, the Dark Lord, and set free Sirius Black.

But Severus shook his head and took a large bite out of his toast, willing himself to push them from his mind. He didn't want to think about Granger or the way she had reacted upon seeing him. She'd looked at him with such fury, such _disgust_. Potter and Weasley's reactions were no surprise. The two young men were always quick to anger but nearly as quick to forgive. Once they saw what little of Severus' memories that he allowed them to see, they didn't question him further. Granger, however, he was unsure about. At Hogwarts, she had never treated him with any disrespect, no matter how deplorable he treated her. She had respected him because he was a teacher. She had trusted him because Dumbledore said she could. But she hadn't looked at him with respect or trust in her eyes as she told him that he deserved to die. In that moment, he was hated in a way he wasn't sure anyone had ever hated him before. He pushed the rest of his toast aside, no longer hungry.

* * *

Severus entered the spacious living area in time to see Minerva McGonagall materialize from the green flames of the Floo system.

"A little early, are we not?" Severus commented as Minerva shook the soot from her emerald green robes. He took his usual high backed chair next to the fireplace and she gave him a withering look.

"I wish you could return to Hogwarts, Severus. Horace Slughorn is a blithering idiot!" Minerva said as she uncharacteristically plunked down on the black leather couch that sat in the middle of the room.

"Tiring of his stories already, Minerva?" Severus asked with a smirk.

"That man never tires of hearing himself speak!" she fumed. "And poor Neville Longbottom, that lad could melt a cauldron just by looking at it. I thought without you breathing down his neck and terrorizing him that he'd show some promise."

Severus winced and nodded in agreement. That was one student he was more than happy to relinquish responsibilities for teaching.

"But that isn't all that is amiss," Severus said, noting that despite her rant, the elder Witch still looked disconcerted. Her eyes were sharp on him, no doubt checking her mind for some kind of intrusion. When she was satisfied that Severus had not invaded her mind, she sighed and gave him an apologetic look. He took no offence. After being a spy for so many years, he had perfected his ability to read people's faces and body language. Yes, he could invade one's mind, but most of the time he needn't bother.

"Hermione was at Albus' grave again last night. She doesn't know that I can see her there, but I can." Minerva winced when she saw Severus' face fall. "Oh Severus, you shouldn't feel responsible."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked, feigning ignorance. "I am the one who struck the deadly blow, am I not?"

Minerva sighed. This was a conversation the two had had on several occasions and it always ended with Severus becoming very angry.

"You'd been left with hardly a choice at all, you know that," Minerva said softly.

"There is always a choice, Minerva," Severus leaned back and pinched the bridge of his pronounced nose. _Gryffindor's and their damned persistence, _he seethed mentally. Minerva always insisted Severus was some noble creature who had sacrificed much for the greater good. He had to hold back a sneer at that thought_. I've sacrificed alright_, he thought. He'd sacrificed far more than he'd meant to, and he was far from noble.

Yes, Severus Snape might go down in history books as a hero by the time the war was over, but some would never see him that way. Witches and Wizards would know what side he fought for, but to some he would go down in history as the Wizard who killed the great Albus Dumbledore.

"Why do you suppose Hermione is taking the loss of Albus so severely?" Minerva asked, causing Severus to visibly flinch again. _Speaking of people who would hate him for all eternity…_

"I do not claim to be an authority on you Gryffindor's," Severus said flippantly. "But perhaps it is the loss of life itself that bothers her so much. She seems the type." As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew they weren't true. Granger was sensitive to the pain of others, but she had seen death before. He did not think her the type to go to just anyone's grave to weep. Minerva knew as much as well, indicated with the shake of her head.

"Not like this Severus. If it had been Potter or Weasley, yes of course, but I'm not sure the girl and Albus had ever exchanged more than a handful of words."

Severus nodded. "When she saw me last Saturday, she seemed angry, but a bit frightened as well," he observed.

"Well that's not surprising," Minerva laughed. "You're a very powerful Wizard, Severus. Many older and far more experienced Wizards and Witches would be shaken at the thought of crossing wands with you. Even I would think twice!"

Severus scoffed. "You would face me down without a moment's hesitation! Probably widdle your knickers at the thought of giving me a good throttling."

"What in the name of Merlin makes you think I could best you?" Minerva asked, genuinely perplexed. Granted that Minerva was no novice when it came to the art of dueling and was a powerful Witch in her own right, she was correct in her assumption that, in a fight, Severus would come out the victor. He couldn't help but grant the older Witch a small and rare smile.

"I could never raise my wand in anger toward you, Minerva. You're like a mother to me, you bloody harpy." Despite the prickly tone, Minerva's eyes glistened a bit at the Dark Wizard's extremely rare profession of feeling. They sat in silence for a few moments, letting the subject die until other members of the Order began to pop in.

There were special wards in place on the unplottable cottage. The wards recognized the magical signatures of the members of the Order of the Phoenix and allowed them access via Apparation. The only fireplace that had access to the cottage through the Floo system was Minerva's office at Hogwarts.

Though he would never admit it out loud, Severus quite enjoyed the meetings simply because it gave him people to talk to other than Remus. Normally he and Remus could have perfectly stimulating conversation, but the Werewolf had been acting rather peculiar as of late. He'd become increasingly moody. Some days he would practically be begging for company, and others he would want to be left completely alone. Severus didn't know what had crawled up the man's arse, but whatever it was needed immediate attention before there was another murder under Severus' belt.

"Hello Severus!" Molly Weasley greeted him cheerfully.

"Good evening to you, Madam Weasley. I trust you and your tribe are well?" Severus said with a small bow. Molly beamed at the mention of her family and launched into a full description of the plans concerning her eldest son Bill and Fleur Delacour's wedding that was soon coming up. Severus expressed his nearly sincere regrets for his impending absence due to his rather extenuating circumstances. Molly's face shifted from full of cheer to sad and a little bit pissed off.

"It isn't your fault, Severus. I absolutely insist you be there, even if you have to take Polyjuice Potion!" she exclaimed. "And I cannot apologize enough for the actions of my youngest son." Her cheeks flared red with embarrassment.

Severus simply shook his head. "Mr. Weasley's actions were perfectly reasonable considering the situation," he said with a smirk. "I believe I was lucky to escape with my head still attached to my body"

"Oh, Severus don't you dare tell me you were worried about three teenagers!" Nymphadora Tonks shouted, having heard bits of the conversation. Severus had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at her short, spiked bright pink hair. She smiled and added, "Though I think Granger may have given you a run for your money, eh? Thought she was something, didn't she?"

Severus eyed the Metamorephmagus angrily, not appreciating her teasing tone. Granger's reaction had been violent, to say the least, and was not to be laughed at. She'd been in pain; Severus had seen it in her eyes. Severus looked up to see Remus looming over Tonks' shoulder, glaring angrily at her. Apparently he didn't appreciate the comment either.

"_Hermione_," he seethed, putting emphasis on her name. "has gone through quite an ordeal, things you know nothing about. She took Dumbledore's death very hard. He made her feel safe."

Tonks looked quite taken aback by Remus' reaction. Severus couldn't hold back his sneer.

"What _ordeal_?" Tonks scoffed. "She have a bad break up with some bloke? She's seventeen, for Merlin's sake!"

Severus had to fight the urge to slap the woman for her condescending tone. First, he wondered why he was getting so defensive over the Gryffindor girl, and secondly, he was curious to why Tonks had suddenly turned into a raving-for the lack of a better term-bitch. Tonks was usually always tolerable and rather nice. He saw the daggers her eyes were sending Remus and wondered what the problem was. Last time he'd checked, they had been shagging like rabbits. Then again, he had begun to notice the absences of the pink haired Witch in the morning time. Severus had assumed that was due to a few too many embarrassing encounters between him and her after she'd spent the night. Granted, Severus didn't help matters by asking her how she had made Auror when she didn't seem to know how to perform a simple silencing charm. Perhaps there was more to the story than met the eye and he had just stumbled upon a clue to Remus' mood changes.

The scowling red-headed Weasley monarch came to Granger's aid. "Earlier this summer, Hermione altered her parent's memories. She sent them abroad. They don't even know they have a daughter anymore."

The look of shock on Tonk's face was so like a caricature that Severus would have sneered, except that he was wearing a similar face. He'd had no idea…

"But why?" Tonks sputtered, her hair turning a mousey brown.

"Because of You-Know-Who's rise to power! Her being a mate of Harry Potter's! Take your pick!" Remus spat with more venom than Severus thought him capable of.

"Hermione's Muggle-born, dear," Molly said gently. Seeing how distraught Tonks became over Remus' anger, Molly's maternal instinct kicked in immediately. "It wasn't safe for them in England anymore. Dumbledore gave Hermione hope, but with him gone…Well, she felt she'd lost her last defense. She didn't have a choice."

Severus felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. He must have looked it as well because Molly's eyes suddenly widened in horror. "Oh, Severus I didn't mean to upset you. I was just-." Severus was thankful that Molly was cut short by Minerva announcing that everyone had arrived and they would now begin the meeting.

Severus slunk away and sat in his chair close to the fireplace, gazing into the orange and yellow flickering flames. He wasn't really seeing the dancing fire, though. The only image his mind could conjure was a pair of chocolate brown eyes boring into his black ones. He had taken away the girls security. She'd been forced to send her parents away, making them totally forget her existence. In that moment, Severus imagined Hermione's hatred could not outweigh the amount he felt for himself.

The room quieted down as various Wizards and Witches made their reports. Kingsley Shacklebolt and Arthur Weasley told of the goings on in the Ministry. Both Wizards felt it was only a matter of time before the Death Eaters had complete control. Severus knew the implications of this. If the Ministry were taken, it would no longer need to stay in hiding, but it would mean horrible things for the other people in the room.

"Will the Dark Lord call you to his side, Severus?" Minerva asked, her lines and wrinkles deepening with worry.

"It is possible," he replied. "But only if it served a purpose. I do not think he would be willing to lose his spy within the Order now that I am well trusted."

Minerva let out a sigh of relief. Severus' position within the Dark Lord's circle was invaluable to the Order. If he were called to stay with the Dark Lord permanently, it would be difficult, not to mention exceedingly more dangerous, for him to pass along information. Perhaps impossible.

"Will you be able to give us any warning if the Ministry falls?" Arthur asked.

"If I am to be directly involved in any attack or offensive, yes," Severus replied. "But if I am not, I shall be just as in the dark as the rest of you. The Dark Lord does not openly share his plans with everyone unless it involves them, and even then it is usually last minute. He confides in no one, not even his most trusted servants." Severus sneered.

The room buzzed with conversation for a few minutes until Minerva called them to attention once more. "Before we convene this meeting, I would like us all to take a vote on admitting new members." Severus eyed her curiously and wondered why she had failed to mention this when they had been chatting. "Three new members, to be exact."

Severus rolled his eyes. _This was her idea of subtly_? he thought. _How Gryffindor of her_. "You've gone as mental as Albus," he muttered and pinched the bridge of his nose. He had a feeling he would have a headache very soon.

"Who is it, Minerva?" Remus asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Do you really need to ask, Remus? A certain trio of Gryffindor's, surely." As soon as the words left Severus' lips, he regretted them because immediately the room exploded with shouts.

"You can't be serious!" Molly shrieked. Severus was proud at least one Gryffindor had common sense. "They're children!"

"They are of age," Minerva countered calmly. "They have a right to be part of the fight. Miss Granger has sacrificed much for the sake of her family. Mr. Weasley is loyal to a fault and the majority of his family belongs in the Order. I don't think I need to explain why Potter should join."

"We can't ask them to give up their education, Minerva," Molly argued, but she was grasping at straws. Minerva was Headmistress of Hogwarts, after all. If she could be an Order member and still run the school, there was no reason Ron, Harry, and Hermione couldn't be members and still attend classes.

"If the Ministry falls, they won't have a choice in the matter," Minerva countered. "They would not be able to stay at the school. It would be overrun by Death Eaters."

Debates erupted all over the room. Remus and Molly teamed up, being the most vehemently opposed. Molly grew increasingly upset as her family supported Minerva, and Severus sat in quiet contemplation, never saying a word.

Severus knew Albus had charged the trio with finding the Horcruxs' for a reason, and they needed help. He also knew that the dunderheaded Gryffindor's wouldn't wait for said help much longer and simply disappear again. Only the next time, it might not be the Order setting traps for them. He shuddered at the thought.

Severus was the only person who knew what Potter would face by the end of the war. He had to be kept alive. The Horcrux's must be destroyed. Severus swore to Dumbledore that he would do his best, as he had for the last sixteen years, to keep Potter safe. But more importantly, he'd promised _her_.

"They have to join," Severus whispered to himself, but Remus' keen hearing picked up the words.

"You must be joking Severus!" Remus exclaimed. Everyone in the room quieted down. Severus let out a sigh.

"We should vote now," said Minerva. "All opposed?" Few hands rose. "And all for?" Severus rose his hand along with many others, the for far outnumbering the opposed.

"You're sentencing these children to death!" Molly sobbed, her face crumbling.

Severus' stomach rolled. Only he knew how close Molly Weasley was to the truth.

"Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Harry Potter will join the ranks of the Order of the Phoenix," Severus said, the words carrying a weight everyone felt settle on their shoulders. "And now I have a bloody headache."

**Authors Note: I realized I forgot one of these in the last chapter I uploaded. Alright, as everyone can see, I have deleted the other chapters. I started this fic back in 2007, and my writing style has changed dramatically. The core of this story will not change, but I am adding bits and pieces from the 7****th**** book. I wasn't happy with the writing of the earlier chapters, so I've decided to do a complete re-write. I really hope people enjoy this story as well as they did what I'm calling the first draft now. I will hopefully be posting once a week, as I type up the chapters, but I'm a very busy college student so we'll see. So far, so good. Please, R/R. I know people tend to give up on my stories because I have a hard time finishing them, but this is one I swear I will finish. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I wish I did, then I'd be living in a castle somewhere. All rights go to Rowling, my hero! **


	3. Chapter 3 The Order of The Phoenix

Chapter 3

"Bloody hell, Hermione! Control that wild animal you call a pet!" Ron snapped. Hermione glared in the general direction of Ron's disembodied voice. Crookshanks was batting, to the untrained eye, at what appeared to be nothing but air with his claws, but she knew better. What he was swiping at was likely Ron or Harry's robes beneath Harry's Invisibility Cloak. She smirked, hoping it was Ron that her cat was swatting at.

The trio had decided that they were all craving chocolate cake around midnight and a visit to the Hogwarts kitchens was in order. It was the first week of October and the three young Gryffindor's had made little to no progress where the Horcrux's were concerned. Hermione's research had yet to yield any results, but she wasn't discouraged. The Hogwarts library was a vast place with a sea of books, and Hermione had barely begun to scratch the surface. But the research was tedious work and slow going, and they didn't have time to waste

The Order of the Phoenix's lack of communication was also becoming increasingly disheartening, especially for Harry. Hermione often found him staring off into space or out a window, his mind miles away. She knew he felt useless; she did too. She understood the Order wanting to protect them, but they didn't understand that keeping them safe wasn't an option. They couldn't keep them safe from Voldemort, not when Harry was the one who had to kill him. Hermione and Ron would never let him face the darkness alone.

Hermione worried for Harry. One night after Ron had already gone up to the boys dorm for bed, she and Harry stayed in the common room, neither capable of sleep.

"What'll happen to my soul?" Harry whispered. "What will happen to me if I kill him?"

"I don't think that killing Voldemort will damage your soul, Harry," she'd replied gently.

"But why?" He asked. Hermione had never seen him look so afraid and desperate. Harry was one of the bravest people she had ever known and he rarely showed his fear. But the thought of hurting his soul scared him to his core.

"By the time the war is said and done, I don't think you'll have to cast the Killing Curse at all," she said. "I think Voldemort will ultimately come to his demise by his own hands."

Hermione was jerked from her thoughts by the shrill voice of Hogwarts' Headmistress. "So this is where you three have snuck off to!" McGonagall shouted. "I've been looking all over for you." Hermione tried to stammer some excuse but she was cut off. "Don't bother, Miss Granger. I can see that daft cat batting at Potter's Invisibility Cloak as easily as you can."

"Sorry Professor," Ron said sheepishly.

"Yeah, sorry," Harry followed suit as the boys tried to untangle themselves from the cloak.

"Follow me, all of you." McGonagall spun on her heels and set off down the corridor at a brisk pace, not bothering to check if they were obeying her command.

As they scrambled after the Headmistress, thoughts of punishment filled Hermione's mind, nearly bringing her to tears. What if McGonagall took away her status as Head Girl? She'd deserve it, sneaking around the castle at night during such dangerous times!

"Why didn't you watch the map like I told you?" Harry hissed.

"Well I was a bit occupied with Hermione's mad cat, wasn't I?" Ron replied, fixing Hermione with an ugly glare. "I hate your cat, Hermione. I really do."

Before Hermione could reply, they arrived at the Headmistress' office.

"Cockroach clusters!" McGonagall barked at the gargoyles standing guard at the entrance. Ron snorted. "Albus wasn't the only person who enjoyed sweets, Mr. Weasley," she said.

As the three of them walked somberly into McGonagall's office, Hermione realized she hadn't seen the inside since well before Dumbledore's death. Her eyes swept across the cavernous room. By and large it looked the same, with its silver spinning contraptions and instruments, glowing orbs of constellations and bowls of sweets. There were signs of a woman's touch here and there, however. Hermione was sure Dumbledore hadn't had knitting patters on his wall, though it wouldn't have surprised her much.

The trio stood awkwardly in front of McGonagall's fireplace, each mentally bracing themselves for the fury she would likely unleash. So they were quite shocked when, instead of shouting, McGonagall took a pinch of Floo powder from a satchel hanging from a hook on the mantel and tossed it into the flame.

The flame turned an acrid shade of green. McGonagall looked at them incredulously. "Well, what are you waiting for? Concentrate on going to the Order's headquarters. The fire will do the rest, no worries." she said.

Hermione looked back and forth between Harry and Ron, both who simply shrugged. Harry was the first to step through the flame, willing himself to be whisked off to an unknown location in the earliest hours of the morning. Ron followed shortly after, leaving Hermione alone with McGonagall.

McGonagall heaved a heavy sigh and said, "I don't suppose you three will ever have a normal school year."

"I gave up on normalcy after being drug to the bottom of the lake during the Triwizard Tournament. I knew it was downhill from there." Hermione smiled.

"I just hope you are able to handle the days that are in front of us," McGonagall said, wringing her hands. "Well, in you go." McGonagall gave Hermione a little shove toward the fireplace.

Hermione hated traveling my Floo. She'd never quite gotten the hang of it. She had taken, and passed, her Apparation exam as soon as she was able. She looked over at the untidy desk across the room and frowned at the sleep figure of Albus Dumbledore.

"I wish he would wake up," Hermione said.

"As do I, Miss Granger," McGonagall replied. "But, in life, Albus wasn't able to rest very often. I'm glad that he's at least resting now. Though it will be a great comfort to hear his voice once again, though I know it's only an echo of the man."

Hermione gazed at McGonagall, her heart filling with sympathy for the elder Witch. "Did he tell you about his plan? About what Professor Snape would be forced to do?"

"If he had, I wouldn't have allowed it," McGonagall answered fiercely, but then her face softened. "Albus knew me too well. And I'm sure he did not want me to grieve for longer than I had to."

Upon inquiry, Hermione would never be able to explain what made her come to the conclusion that Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall had been in love. Maybe it was the way her eyes filled when speaking about him. Perhaps the expression of longing as she gazed at his portrait. Whatever it was, Hermione was sure that they had been involved and that the Headmistress missed her love desperately.

Finally, Hermione stepped into the fire, the flames grasping at her like long green fingers. She emerged only seconds before McGonagall, who quickly disappeared from sight.

Hermione realized she was standing in a room devoid of light. She felt panic swell in her chest and called out to Harry and Ron.

"We're here, Hermione!" Ron said, his voice only centimeters away. She grabbed out into the void for him. He grasped her shoulders and put himself in front of her, protecting her from the darkness. She heard the ruffling of robes, like several people walking. She pulled out her wand. She trusted McGonagall, but where had she gone? Was she hurt? Had they been abducted?

"_Lumos_!" she shouted, her wand raised. The dim light cast just enough light for the trio to see that they were surrounded by people whose faces were obstructed by cloaks. Hermione looked at Harry and Ron, both whom looked ready to start hexing the parks off of the hooded figures. Suddenly, a black glad figure raised his wand and Hermione prepared to block a spell. But the figure simply flicked his wrist and suddenly the room was filled with warm, flickering candle light.

"You three have been chosen to join our struggle against the darkness," said a deep, low voice that could only belong to Severus Snape. "We are offering you a chance to stand by our sides, as our equals, on the battle field against the Dark Lord. We have come to offer you a place in the Order of the Phoenix."

**Authors Note: Sorry this took so long and that it's so short. I took a chapter and am breaking it up into two. I figured it would be more effective that way. I took so long updating because I have been very sick and I'm behind on my school work. I'll be very busy this week trying to do homework and work on this fic, plus my own fiction. It may be another two weeks before I get the next chapter typed up and ready to submit. Thank you all for being patient. Read and review please, I love to hear feedback! -Alison**


	4. Chapter 4 Werewolf Senses

Chapter 4

"_We have come to offer you a place in the Order of the Phoenix."_

Hermione wasn't sure if the words were echoing off the walls in the room or if it was only in her mind. Was this really happening? Were they finally going to be given a chance, as equals, to fight for their Wizarding World? Harry and Ron were both smiling like a couple of fools and Hermione was afraid the Order would take one look at them and change their mind.

"Well?" McGonagall snapped. "Are you three just going to stand there or accept the invitation?"

"Errr…." Ron stammered. Hermione elbowed him in his ribs. "Bloody hell Hermione…er…well, I mean, of course I accept." Hermione covered her eyes with her hand and shook her head.

"I accept the invitation," Harry said, standing visibly taller. Hermione smiled at him, feeling proud at least one of her best friends could at least pretend to be mature.

"I accept as well," she said, still beaming. The Order members removed their hoods and several familiar and friendly faces smiled back at them.

There was a table in the center of the room that Hermione had failed to notice till Snape motioned them toward it. She saw six clear vials sitting in rows of three and her stomach suddenly sank. She knew Veritaserum when she saw it, a watery light brown liquid. The clear liquid in the other three jars was the antidote.

"Three of these bottles are filled with Veritaserum, the other three with its antidote. You will drink the Truth Potion and answer all of our questions, understand?" Snaped said briskly. The trio nodded dumbly, all more than a little anxious.

Ron and Harry downed their vials quickly, their faces screwing up in disgust. _Wonderful_, Hermione thought. _And it tastes bad too_! Hermione, however, was more apprehensive than her more trusting counterparts. She trusted most everyone that she knew in the room with her life, but she didn't trust some of them not to take advantage of a delicate situation.

"Are Fred and George allowed to ask questions?" she asked.

"Absolutely not," Remus assured her. "I won't let anyone ask anything inappropriate, trust me."

Hermione smiled gratefully. If there was one person in the room she believed, it was Remus. She hesitantly plugged her nose and downed the brown liquid that tasted like a combination of cabbage, dirty socks, and cheese.

Remus stepped forward and smiled at them, but the smile didn't fully reach his eyes. Hermione scanned the room and noted that no one looked exactly thrilled that the trio of young Gryffindor's would be joining the Order. She took no offence; if she were in their place, she wouldn't relish the thought of letting three very young adults fight battles that not even the most powerful Wizards and Witches in the world could win.

"Harry," Remus said, looking at Harry with sadness and pride. "Do you swear allegiance to the Order of the Phoenix and pledge to stand with them in the battle against the Dark Lord?"

"Yes," Harry replied without hesitation.

"Do you swear to do what is right, even in the face of great loss and sacrifice?" Remus asked, and this time Harry paused for moment. Hermione knew what he was thinking. He'd already lost his parents. He'd watched too many people die, including his Godfather Sirius, and one of the greatest Wizards to ever live, Albus Dumbledore. Finally Harry succumbed to the effects of the Truth Serum.

"I swear to do my best," he answered, the Veritaserum not allowing him to lie even just a little.

"That is all that we can possibly ask of you, Harry," Remus said, his voice warm and affectionate. "Welcome and safe you are amongst our ranks. I'm very proud of you, and I know your parents and Sirius would be as well." Harry didn't reply, but the tears' shining behind his glasses was reply enough for Remus.

Arthur Weasley stepped forward next, his aging face crisscrossed with lines of worry, but he grinned at his youngest son. "Ron, do you swear allegiance to the Order of the Phoenix and pledge to stand with them in the battle against the Dark Lord?"

"Yes!" Everyone in the room giggled as Ron's voice hit an octave higher than normal.

"Will you stand with the Order and your friends against all odds, all foes, and all challenges?" asked his father. Ron nodded and said yes quickly and easily, the Veritaserum not stunting his voice even for a moment. Arthur beamed and pulled his son into a fierce hug, murmuring "Welcome and safe you are amongst our ranks. I love you, son."

It was no surprise that Ron answered quickly and confidently. His Patronaus manifested itself as a dog for a reason, after all.

When Severus Snape stepped forward moments later, Hermione was genuinely confused. Quite frankly, he was the last person she expected to want to speak for her now. He stood directly in front of her, much closer than Remus had been to Harry. She could see every detail of his face down to the deep bruises around his eyes and frown lines. She also noticed that his hair wasn't greasy at all; it was sleek and beautifully shiny.

"Hermione," he said softly, drawing her eyes to his. "Do you swear allegiance to the Order of the Phoenix and to stand with them in the battle against the Dark Lord?" His voice was smooth and low and Hermione imagined that it sounded like silk felt.

"Yes," she said confidently, which was a relief. Yet Snape's eyes flashed with some emotion that Hermione could not recognize.

"I have one simple question for you," he said, hesitating, as if grasping for the right words while involved in some horrible inner-duel. Finally he just sighed. Hermione had a feeling he lost the mental battle that had been raging inside him. "Hermione, do you trust me?"

Some people in the room let out a slight gasp, including Hermione. This had not been what she'd expected. Hermione was clever enough to know that mutual trust is the only way for any kind of organization to succeed, including a secret society such as the Order of the Phoenix. If Hermione could not trust Snape to be at her back and the time came for them to be there for one another on some kind of mission, they would be doomed.

Did she trust Snape? Well, she always had as a child. She'd never put him on a pedestal or thought he was some wonderful, warm person deep down inside. But she recognized him for the brilliant brave man that he was and knew that the majority of the things he did were to keep her and her friends safe. _But why had he done it_? His motivation for serving as a spy and their unsung guardian had not been explored as of yet. Hermione knew his reason were his own and would not pry, but yet she could not help but wonder if he had other reasons besides simply despising what Voldemort stood for.

Hermione took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She knew that the Veritaserum would not let her lie. She simply needed to open her mouth and let whatever words come forth as they may.

"Yes," she whispered. "I trust you with my life."

The whole room seemed stunned at her words, but no one more than herself. Even though it surprised her, she couldn't deny the truth. The Veritaserum had spoken.

"Welcome and safe you are amongst our ranks," Snape said softly. "And I offer you my thanks for your trust."

Hermione opened her mouth to reply but shut it quickly, thinking better of it. McGonagall handed out the antidote and the three new Order members guzzled it down before Fred and George could make their way across the room. After many hugs and congratulations, some Order members disappeared with a loud POP and others broke into groups, chatting loudly about random things.

Ron and Harry were lured away by the other Weasley folk so Hermione decided to explore the new headquarters. When they had been brought against their will via Portkey they had only seen the common area and she was eager to see the rest of the place.

The cabin had been obviously enhanced magically. The staircase wound up two stories with long hallways leading to several bedrooms. Hermione assumed this was in case many people needed to take refuge there if something were to go terribly wrong. Downstairs there was a kitchen that nearly rivaled the one at Hogwarts, Remus' and Snape's bedrooms which she did not go into, and Hermione's favorite room, the library. She left that room particularly quickly because she knew that if she allowed herself, she would become lost amongst the hundreds of books that lined the walls of the very large room.

Hermione asked McGonagall whether or not it was safe to go outside. After being told that yes, it was safe but not wander too far into the woods, and that when they were not at school she could now call her professor by her given name, Hermione made her way to the front porch.

From the outside, the place looked like an ordinary two story log cabin. Hermione marveled for a moment at how simple it appeared to be. Magic was truly a magnificent thing.

A wooden porch wrapped around the entire cabin, housing various rocking chairs, porch swings, and even a hammock. Hermione stopped short when she noticed the lean figure of Remus Lupin lounging comfortably in the rope made hammock, gently rocking, the faint light of a waning moon casting shadows on closed eyes. She took a step forward, intent on walking past him, unwilling to disturb his peace. But as she was passing, she felt a strong hand grip her arm. She looked down and saw Remus was smiling, his eyes still closed.

"Join me, won't you Hermione?" he asked.

"How did you know it was me?" she asked. Remus opened his eyes, the amber color looking pure silver in the moonlight. He sat up and made room for her to sit down.

"Werewolf senses," he replied, tapping his nose. "I smelled you as soon as you walked out onto the porch."

"So, what do I smell like?" Hermione asked. She'd never thought about what her scent might be before.

"That's my little secret," he said.

Suddenly the front door flew open and a pink haired Tonks came bustling out the door.

"Oi Remus? You out here?" she said. Remus sighed heavily.

"I'm over here, Tonks," he said grudgingly. Tonks' smile faded when she saw Remus was not alone. The look on the Metamorephmagus' face made Hermione grow steadily more uncomfortable.

"I was just wondering where you had disappeared to," Tonks said, giving Hermione a withering look. "I see you're being entertained. I'll leave you to it."

Hermione didn't like the way Tonks had said the word "entertained."

"Tonks, you don't have to-" Hermione tried, but another scathing look from Tonks stopped her midsentence.

"I'll talk to you later, Remus," said Tonks. Hermione got the distinct feeling that they would indeed be talking soon, and Remus possibly wouldn't like the conversation. Hermione winced as the front door slammed.

"I think we made your girlfriend mad," Hermione winced again. "Sorry…"

Remus coughed, seeming to choke on air. "No, she isn't my girlfriend. No no, not at all!"

"Oh!" Hermione exclaimed in surprise. "I just thought because of the way she reacted…I mean, I'm sorry, I…"

"We were, err, seeing one another for a bit, but I ended it," Remus explained.

"May I ask why?" asked Hermione. Remus shrugged.

"I guess you can say that I fell in love with someone else…" he said. Hermione was about to launch into a million questions, but Remus didn't give her the chance. "Anyway, How are you? Bit overwhelmed, I wager?"

Hermione nodded, letting the uncomfortable subject drop. She suddenly felt very tired. It was probably nearing two O'clock in the morning. Thank God it was the weekend and she didn't have to be up for classes the next day.

"I'm a little apprehensive…" she muttered.

"I understand," Remus replied. "It makes the war much more real."

Hermione nodded again. He had practically read her mind. She looked up at his smiling face and frowned as she noticed the deep shadows beneath his eyes.

"Last night was a full moon," Hermione said, the realization suddenly striking her. "Oh Remus, you must be exhausted! I'm so sorry."

Remus grinned, but it was a tired grin. "I needed to be there. Moreover, I _wanted_ to be there."

"Of course you would _want_ to be there, but Harry would have understood. You need your strength," Hermione gently scolded, giving his arm a small squeeze. He looked surprised.

"It wasn't only Harry I was here for, Hermione," he said, his voice soft. He tucked one of her loose curls behind her ear. Hermione gasped a little. The way he was looking at her…it was a look so tender that it unnerved her. Had he always looked at her in such a way?

"Hermione…there is something I've been meaning to speak with you about…"

Hermione faintly heard Remus' words, but movement had caught her eye. A dark clad figure was moving down the stone and brick pathway leading into the trees. At first she thought perhaps the wards had failed, until the moonlight cast a glow on pale skin.

"Remus, will you excuse me?" she asked.

Remus stopped speaking and followed her eyes toward the trees. He smiled, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Of course," he said. "Take care and I shall see you soon."

"Get some rest, Remus, for my sake," she said, giving his hand a squeeze. He lay back down in the hammock and assured her that sleep would come fast. She stepped off the porch and walked quickly down the path and into the wood, unaware of a pair of amber eyes that followed her until she disappeared from sight.

* * *

Severus needed air.

Though he had admittedly come to eagerly anticipate Order meetings to break the monotony of the everyday, tonight had jolted him violently and he found himself craving solitude.

He had not been prepared to face Hermione Granger again. He'd done his best to put her out of his mind, her flaming anger burning so deep in her light brown eyes. This time there was no anger there, only a deep and unwavering sadness. In a way, the sadness had been worse than the anger.

Yet, she had confessed to trusting him. With her life no less! Her voice hadn't wavered, nor did her eyes leave his.

Severus leaned against a tree and pinched the bridge of his nose as he often did when battling a headache. If something happened to the bloody golden Gryffindor trio, he felt as if the blame would be placed on his shoulders. He wasn't the only person who thought they had a right to join the fight against the Dark Lord. He stood by his decision. But he still felt the need to protect them. _Especially Harry_.

Severus dropped his hand, completely giving up on fighting a migraine. Harry's survival was imperative, not only for the sake of the Wizarding World, but for the simple fact that it was Severus' only way to find redemption. _Survival for _now, Severus thought darkly.

A twig snapped somewhere close, pulling him out of his distressed thoughts and sending him into a defensive posture, wand raised.

"Show yourself!" Severus barked into the darkness.

"Professor?" a small voice floated out to him. A moment later, Hermione Granger's petite frame appeared to melt out of the woods, as if she were made of light and could keep darkness at bay.

"You should not be wandering the woods alone," Severus said a little too sharply as he lowered his wand and placed it back in his robes.

"Professor McGonagall-Minerva, I mean, told me the woods were protected," replied the young Gryffindor, her tone very matter-of-fact.

"Death Eaters are not the only creatures you should fear, Miss Granger." He saw her hesitate, obviously picking up on the veiled threat. She stood in front of him, her eyes on the stone pathway, and stayed silent. Finally Severus rolled his eyes. "Did you need something?" he snapped. He sounded harsher than he had intended.

She glared at him and turned to walk away, but a moment later Severus called out to her. "Wait, Miss Granger," he sighed and took two long strides to catch up with her. "My apologies, for I am not myself tonight."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I don't think I have ever heard you apologize to someone before, Professor."

Severus raised an eyebrow in return. "You may find this a shocking revelation, but I am not an evil basted Miss Granger, at least not in my entirety."

The moon was just bright enough for Severus to see the blush creep into her cheeks. Though, to Severus' surprise, the girl didn't start sputtering apologies at him. She simply squared her shoulders and held her chin up. For the first time, Severus noticed how the young Gryffindor had transformed from the unassuming, hand-raising, bushy haired know-it-all he'd once known. _No_, he corrected himself. _I cannot claim to have ever known anything about the girl_. But he found himself needing another mental correction, for Hermione Granger could hardly be considered a girl any longer.

Severus tried not to notice the fact that her hair no longer appeared as if birds could comfortably nest within its bushiness. He wasn't sure if it was a trick of the moonlight or his eyes deceiving him, but her hair looked soft and healthy, her curls loose and falling over her cheeks. He'd noticed upon the trio's arrival that they had all been in their school robes, but apparently she'd found it prudent to Transfigure them into Muggle denim jeans and a light blue sweater. She no longer looked too thin, like she had when she'd first started attending Hogwarts. She no longer looked like a child, but the woman that she was.

She sighed heavily before speaking, as if she were mentally preparing herself. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry," she said shakily.

"Whatever for, Miss Granger?" he asked in utter shock.

"For doubting you," she said so lowly that her voice was almost lost on the small breeze. Her voice was full of shame and Severus felt a pain in his chest at the sound of her sadness.

"It was completely justified," Severus said flippantly, doing his best to keep the guilt from his voice. Hermione just shook her head.

"For years you did nothing but try to protect us, and we all assumed the worst of you…it wasn't right, and I'm sorry."

Severus stood beneath the canopy of dark forest for how long, he didn't know. Her words had shocked him down to his very core. So someone had noticed. She had noticed his efforts to keep them as safe as possible. It certainly wasn't easy, as ridiculously prone to trouble as those three were.

"Thank you, Miss Granger. I…appreciate the sentiment." Severus had done his best to keep his normal biting tone of sarcasm from his voice. He must have been successful because a wide grin crept across her face.

"You can call me Hermione, Professor," she said .Severus opened his mouth to grant permission to use his given name as well, but was stopped short by the sound of crunching leaves.

"Hermione?" came Remus' voice. "There you are! Hello, Severus." Severus nodded curtly. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but it's time for you three to get back to school." Was that a hint of coldness Severus had heard in his voice? Remus put an arm around Hermione's shoulders and began to lead her toward the house. She called back at him and thanked him. Severus wasn't entirely sure what she was thanking him for, but he felt the need to thank her as well.

"Likewise Miss Gra-Hermione." This brought another smile to her face, and the ghost of a smile to his own. Severus headed a little further into the woods to continue his search for potions ingredients, thoughts of a young Gryffindor plaguing his mind.

**Authors Note: **

**Oi! Sorry it took so long to upload this sucker. School is killing me slowly. I don't know when I will upload again, but I'll try for it to be soon, though it may not be till my finals are over. I think my last one is the 10th of December. I am hopefully going to finish this over Christmas break, but maybe not. I am going to try to make this novel length. I really love this story and want it to be told in the best way. I am also working on my own fiction, so I don't know how much time I will have to dedicate to this completely, but it shall get finished! **

**Alright, so obviously there is some tension building. I want to hear all of your opinions on the whole Hermione and the possibility of Snape or Remus? Any ideas? Come on folks! I love reading reviews, it makes my day! **

**Thanks all! **

**Ali  
**


	5. Chapter 5 Close

Chapter 5

Nearly a month went by with little to no activity. The trio was thrust back into school as if the Order meeting had never taken place. They went back to classes, kept sneaking down to the kitchens, and the boys were back to Quidditch practice.

The Slytherin vs. Gryffindor match was coming up on Halloween so Harry and Ron were constantly on the Quidditch pitch preparing. Hermione loved the boys and missed their presence, but was thankful at the same time for their preoccupation. She needed time alone to keep up with her studies and continue the research into the strange symbol that plagued her thoughts.

Hermione poured over volume after volume of old dusty tomes in the most forgotten corners of the library. Every night, often after a quick trip to the kitchens, she would sneak into the Restricted Section with the help of Harry's Invisibility cloak.

Though she couldn't find any information on the mysterious rune, she did find additional information on Horcrux's.

Reading the old and aged books in an abandoned library, words only illuminated by the light of a flickering candle flame, did nothing to ease the shivers that ran down her spine upon her many discoveries. Ink illustrations of tortured faces littered the worn parchment pages in dark books such as those. Men and women so thin they appeared like skeletons, cloth hanging off them like sheets on a clothes line, their faces full of agony and mouths forming a perfect circle from their screams.

In one black leather bound book with stained yellow pages, Hermione found a picture of an ornately decorated box. It could have been an old jewelry or music box, Hermione couldn't tell. What she focused on was the face that had been drawn on the lid, angry and screaming in rage. A Horcrux. Below the illustration was the story of a man who fractured his soul and stored a shard in a box. What interested her most of all about the passage was that it went on to reveal that this man had restored his soul.

_I have never felt this type of agony. I feel as if a dagger has been plunged into my belly and raked across, spilling my insides. My heart beat is so quick in my chest I feel sure it will explode. For I feel what I have done. I have taken a life to preserve my own. I am the most evil kind of creature. _

Hermione took detailed notes from this book, though she wasn't sure she would ever need the information. She was positive Harry would take the Dark Mark before Voldemort felt any remorse for the many lives he'd taken. The only useful information Hermione had gleaned from these books was also the most disconcerting. A Horcrux could literally be made from _anything_. She read that when one splits their soul, the soul will latch itself onto the first living thing it encounters. The Wizard or Witch wishing to make a Horcrux must force the soul into the object of their choosing. _Like a locket_, Hermione thought. Voldemort's Horcrux's could be anything, therefore anywhere. The situation seemed so hopeless.

Hermione understood the Order's want to protect them, but sooner rather than later they were going to have to let the trio join the hunt for the Horcrux's. Every day that they wasted inside the castle, more and more people were dying. Harry would eventually have to face Voldemort. No one could do that for him.

Judging by the _Daily Prophet_ and the bits and pieces of information she gleamed from Order meetings (at least they were allowed to attend those) it would only be a matter of time before the Ministry fell. If that were to happen, Hermione was sure that neither she nor the boys would have much time to pack their things, so she began to carry her bottomless satchel everywhere she went. She put nearly everything she owned except her trunk and Crookshanks in it, insisting the boys make bottomless bags and do the same. Thanks to Hermione's paranoia, they would be ready to evacuate come the time.

Today, however, Hermione was taking a break from her research and was wandering the streets of Hogsmeade with her two best friends, enjoying a crisp fall Saturday afternoon.

"Blimey," Ron said. "I'm thankful to be getting new robes for Bill's wedding." Hermione silently agreed as she remembered Ron's terrifying lace covered bathrobe masquerading as dress robes. She was happy he would not have to endure merciless teasing as he had during their 4th year.

Hermione already purchased her dress robes for the wedding. She'd bought them with her mother on their last trip to Diagon Alley. They were made of velvet the color of the most precious of emeralds. Hermione had been worried it would seem too Slytherin, but her mother had insisted she try it on. Seeing her mother smile through tears was enough to convince her that, green or not, she had to have those robes. She'd stood in front of a full length mirror and marveled at how the light hit the beautiful dress. It was then that for the first time, Hermione noticed just how much she had grown since starting Hogwarts. She'd finally managed to somewhat tame her bushy hair and soften the curls. She no longer looked too thin or sallow. There were curves in places that had once been flat and she now had a natural pink glow to her cheeks. Now, watching Ron try on new dress robes and model them for her and Harry's amusement, she realized that she was not the only one who had been changing without notice.

Harry was now only a few inches shorter than Ron. Seven years of Hogwarts food and Molly Weasley doing her best to put meat on his bones and had made up for the years of malnourishment he'd suffered under the hands of the Dursley's. He was still quite lean, but wiry muscles had filled out most of his clothes. He was a catch for any girl, but she was glad none of his fame and above average looks had gone to his head. She'd always known he would choose the youngest of the Weasley clan. Ginny was fierce and would stand by him no matter what he faced, even if that meant taking on Voldemort herself. Harry was insistent upon putting distance between he and her, not wanting to run the risk of the Dark Lord and his Death Eater's using their relational ties as an advantage. Hermione had tried to reason with him, reminding him that all the Weasley's were thought of as blood traitors and friends of the Boy Who Lived. Ginny would be in no more danger than she already was. All supporters of the light were in mortal danger as the darkness grew thicker and Voldemort grew bolder still. No one was safe. Harry could no longer protect everyone, though Hermione knew he would never stop trying.

Ron had always been on the taller side, but now he'd reached his eldest brother's height. He'd filled out in the chest and shoulders thanks to Quidditch, and his nose no longer looked too large for his face. He was just as handsome as his brothers, if not more so.

"How do I look?" Ron asked as he modeled the last robe that they had picked out. The black robes hugged his shoulders, accentuating his muscly arms.

"You look great!" Hermione exclaimed. Ron's ears turned nearly as red as his hair.

"Much better than your great Aunt's bathrobe," Harry said with a smirk.

Bill had given Ron the money for the dress robes, making it clear that it wasn't charity. "No bloody way am I gonna let you wear a damn lace nightgown to my wedding. Fleur would have my head on a pike." Not wanting to wear a nightgown either, Ron accepted the money without much protest.

After Ron purchased his dress robes, he suggested that they all split up and get their Christmas shopping out of the way and so the trio separated, each going their own way in search of gifts.

As Hermione wandered around the bookstore, she thought of her parents. It was the first Christmas that she would not wake up and open a gift from her mother and father. The absence of a gift wasn't what troubled her, but knowing that her parents wouldn't even be thinking about her was enough to nearly move her to tears.

"Hello Hermione," came a soft voice, jerking her from her thoughts. She turned and saw the smiling face of Remus Lupin. She smiled in return, but frowned slightly as she saw how tired his eyes looked. Her eyes widened when she saw a stain on his trousers, a large dark red circle.

"Remus, are you bleeding?" she rushed over to him but he stopped her before she could fret over him too much.

"No," he grimaced. "It isn't my blood." He didn't elaborate. Hermione nodded without asking questions. She didn't want to know. She lifted her wand and said, "_Scourgify_!" The spot began to shrink until it was completely gone. Remus smiled his thanks.

"What are you doing here, anyway?" she asked.

"Making sure that you three don't have another go at poor Professor Flitwick," Remus smirked.

Hermione glared. "We don't need a babysitter, Remus. You can't protect us forever."

"All the same," Remus said, seemingly unaffected by Hermione's words. "Minerva felt it was best to send a few of us to patrol the village. There could be a Death Eater attack."

Hermione rolled her eyes. She picked up a copy of books on medical potions, doing her best to ignore Remus. If he wanted to treat her like a child, then she'd act like one. She ignored him until he finally reached up and pulled her book down from in front of her face.

"I don't want to babysit you, Hermione. I want…I need to keep you safe," he said, his voice low.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Certainly you'd rather keep an eye on Harry," she said. Hermione's eyes widened as she noticed just how close they were standing to one another.

"No," he shook his head. "Moody is with Harry, and Tonks went to find Ron." Remus took another small step, closing the small gap that had been left between them. "I wanted to be here with you, Hermione." His voice was so low that Hermione wasn't sure that she had heard him right. Had she been a less logical person, Hermione might think Remus was acting like a man in love, but that was impossible. Yes, they had grown close over the summer, but she could not believe he felt any stronger for her than he did Ron or Harry.

"I…I have to get my Christmas shopping," she stammered and took a small step backward, needing space all of the sudden. A look flashed so quickly across Remus' face that Hermione nearly missed it, but for a moment she could have sworn he looked hurt.

"Then why don't I come along and help?" he asked, his voice dripping with what seemed like false cheer.

Hermione did her best to shrug off Remus' strange behavior as they walked the streets of Hogsmeade. They weaved through the winding dirt and gravel roads, going in and out of shops, trying to find the perfect gift for her friends.

"I need to find something for my parents," she said as they passed a little shop full of magical knick-knacks.

"I thought they were in Australia," Remus inquired. They decided to sit on a bench and rest a bit.

"They are," she sighed. "But if I can ever bring them back, I want them to know I didn't forget about them."

Remus reached for her hand and squeezed it tight. She expected him to release her hand and was surprised when he didn't. She really wished he would because her palms were stating to sweat. Finally, after a few painfully awkward moments, realization dawned on him and he let go of her hand like it bit him.

When time came for the students to return to the castle, she and Remus met up with Ron and Harry at the Three Broom Sticks and Remus decided to walk with them to the castle gates. Hermione expected him to hug her goodbye as usual, but he simply wished them a good night and walked back down the path.

"Did either of you notice anything off about Remus?" Hermione asked later that night in the Great Hall while they were eating dinner. The boys shrugged.

"Fred told me he isn't seeing Tonks anymore," Ron said with a mouthful of pudding.

"He told me it was because he fell in love with someone else." Hermione told the boys about the conversation she'd had with Remus the night they were inducted into the Order. She didn't tell them everything, she was too confused, but she did tell them enough to show his not-so-subtle change.

"Moody said there was going to be some kind of party at headquarters after the meeting Halloween night. Maybe you can talk to him then," said Harry.

After dinner, Hermione went to her rooms and simply sat in her window seat with Crookshanks, staring out at the white tomb. She knew she should be studying, but she was too lost in thought. She couldn't stop thinking about Remus' behavior. She didn't understand why he suddenly liked being so close to her. Looking back on it, that was the one word that she would use for the feeling she was getting from him: close.

But the most confusing thing of all, why was she suddenly feeling badly that he hadn't hugged her?

**Authors Note: My apologies for the wait. Finals week was absolutely mad and so far, Christmas break hasn't been much of a break! I have been catching up on all the reading I've neglected and am trying to work up the courage to work on my own fiction. Three more weeks left of break so we'll see what I accomplish! I am not happy with the ending of this chapter at all, but hopefully you readers won't hate it too much. It's incredibly rushed. When I was writing it, for some reason I just couldn't figure out how to tie it up so I copped out. I'm sorry, I really just wanted to get another chapter up. I also just did a quick sweep of it again and realized that it's very short, which I apologize for as well. I'm doing my best to make the chapters long, but sometimes it can't be helped. Well, review please! -Ali**


	6. Chapter 6 RAB

Chapter 6

"Hello Uncle!" Severus rolled his eyes upon hearing an obnoxiously loud voice coming from the door. He did not need to look up from his book to know it was Draco Malfoy come to bother him about something or other.

Severus had been lounging comfortably on a soft couch in the library and the last thing he wanted was to deal with a Malfoy.

"I'm not your damned uncle," Severus growled.

"You're my godfather, ergo makes you my uncle," said Draco as he sat on the loveseat opposite of the couch. "What are you reading?"

Severus sighed heavily and lifted up the book so Draco could see the title.

"Shakespeare? That pervy Muggle who doth no bloody sense made?"

Severus didn't reply and kept reading. A few moments of blessed silence passed while Severus' eyes swept over the pages. He was reading _Romeo and Juliet_ for what must have been the hundredth time in his life. Most men would cast this play aside, thinking it too utterly feminine to possibly be of any interest, but not Severus. He could relate to the star cross'd lovers. He knew too well the pain that came from impossible love, even if only one sided. And he knew what it felt like to be separated permanently by death.

"So I heard Hermione Granger nearly hexed your bollocks off," Draco said cheerfully. "Took some guts, I reckon. Didn't know the little Gryffindor had it in her."

Severus stopped reading upon hearing Hermione's name. He lowered his book and cast his "nephew" a dark look. Since speaking with her in the woods, Severus had been unable to keep the little know-it-all from his thoughts. He kept replaying their conversation in his mind. He admired the way she had stood confidently and without fear. It struck him dumb every time the thought crossed his mind: _Hermione Granger is unafraid of me_.

"Will the trio of do-gooders be at the meeting? I can't wait to see Potter and Weasley since we wiped the grass with their arses this morning on the Quidditch pitch!." Draco asked. Severus' eyes narrowed.

"You will be on your best behavior or I will make turning you into a ferret look like a parlor trick," Severus said through clenched teeth.

"Oh?" Draco smirked. "Getting a little defensive, Uncle?"

Severus sat down his book. He pulled his wand out from its place in his left sleeve. Draco held up his hands in surrender as soon as he saw the long piece of black wood in Severus' long pale fingers.

"Alright, alright," he said, standing up and straightening his pristine school robes and started for the door. Looking at Draco walking away, his slicked black white blonde hair shining even in the pale light of the library, Severus was struck at how much the young man looked like his father.

Lucius had been one of Severus' best mates when they were in school. At first Severus had been apprehensive about his Slytherin peers. Lucius, as well as Sirius Black's brother Regulus and others were very interested in the Dark Lord's activities and Pure-Blood agenda. Being a Half-Blood, Severus could not have cared less about Pure-Blood's ruling the world, nor was he a Muggle hater. In the end, what had caught his interest was his peers' knowledge of the Dark Arts.

Severus had always been more intelligent than most of his classmates. By his second year at Hogwarts he had already improved upon most of the Potions in the text book. Whoever had written them had absolutely no imagination! Severus could read between the lines, and he listened to the ingredients as they silently spoke to him about the best ways to treat them. Potions had always been where his genius lied, but his true passion at the time had been the Dark Arts. Perhaps one could say it was the mystery of the subject that drew him, but Severus knew himself better. The real allure of the subject stemmed from Severus' lust for revenge. When James Potter and his gang made it their life's purpose to make him miserable, he began to take refuge in the Restricted Section of the library. He created the spell _Sectumsempra_ using the principals from several of the tombs he'd stumbled upon.

Severus wouldn't understand the consequences of his pursuit for knowledge and power until he was much older and it was too late. He knew that was the reason Albus had never granted him the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts professor until he knew it would be his last year. Albus knew of Severus' weaknesses from the past and was afraid for him.

Severus did not indulge himself in lamenting about his past often. His knowledge of the Dark Arts had been invaluable during the struggle against the Dark Lord, and had probably saved hundreds of lives. But those hundreds of lives saved could never make amends for the lives that had been lost because of him. His ability to be a spy also served the Light and enabled the Order to prevent many disasters concerning the Dark Lord's activities. He was willing to do whatever it took to bring down the He Who Must Not Be Named and his followers. He knew full well that he would likely not live through the war and that did not faze him. Perhaps in death he would find redemption. Or maybe his death would be simple justice; his life for the lives he'd taken. _And the one life taken because I was a fool_, he thought.

"Severus?"

Severus opened his eyes and saw Remus standing in the doorway.

"Hello Remus," Severus sighed and sat up.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Remus said apologetically. Severus hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep. "The meeting is about to start. Everyone's here."

Severus nodded, stood up, and stretched. His back protested at being upright.

It was All Hallows Even and Severus had been waiting for the Dark Lord's summons, but it never came. Severus was growing more anxious by the moment. Halloween was one of the most magical nights of the year and the Dark Lord always held a Revel. It was always the most violent, despicable displays of debauchery and Severus was glad he'd not yet been summoned. But the absence of the burn of his Mark left the lingering question as to why. Severus lived with the constant possibility that the next summons could be his last. He had no doubt that one day his true allegiance would be revealed, but he could only hope he would live long enough to watch the Dark Lord fall under the wand of Harry Potter.

* * *

Hermione sat in her window seat like most other nights before. She was anxiously awaiting ten o'clock so that she and the boys could head to their first full-fledged meeting with the Order of the Phoenix. She was nervous. As confident as she was in her intelligence, she still worried that she would not be taken seriously. The Order could no longer treat them as if they were children. Though she and Ron were eighteen and Harry seventeen, they had all three been through more terrifying instances than most forty year olds.

A knock sounded at the door and she told her guests to enter. She smiled as Ron and Harry walked in. They both had put a little extra thought into their appearances, though they still looked grim from their Quidditch defeat that morning. Harry looked like he'd even tried to wrestle his hair with a comb but had lost the battle.

"You look nice, Hermione," Harry said. Ron nodded in agreement. She smiled and thanked them, grateful that her extra effort had also not gone unnoticed.

She'd dawned a dark blue long sleeved shirt and long black skirt. She was unsure how she was supposed to dress for a party, so she thought relaxed but not too casual would do.

"We need to talk about the Horcruxes," Harry said, his face growing steadily grimmer. Hermione nodded and made room on the window seat for the boys.

"I haven't found much useful information concerning ways to destroy them. Are you sure Dumbledore didn't mention how he destroyed Marvolo Gaunt's ring?" Hermione asked. Harry shook his head. She sighed. "Well, I did find a bit of information on how to create them. I found a book called _Secrets of the Darkest Art _in the Restricted Section. I kind of…well…I stole it thinking we would need it." She said, pointing to her bottomless satchel sitting on her bed.

"Look at our Hermione, Harry," Ron snickered. "Turning into a right little rebel, you are."

"Oh honestly Ron!" Hermione tutted.

"That's the book Dumbledore took out of the library and hid in his office!" Harry said after a moment of thinking. "How did it end up back in the library?"

"Maybe he put it back, knowing I'd be looking for it? I don't know, but I certainly don't feel guilty for removing it from the stacks anymore!" Hermione exclaimed. Ron rolled his eyes.

"I think we need to show the Order the locket tonight," Harry said.

"Sure you wanna do that mate? Who knows what they'll do with it," said Ron.

Harry shrugged. "It's a risk we have to take. We've got to find out who R.A.B. is and whether or not he destroyed the real Horcrux. If they take it, at least they'll only be taking a fake."

"Maybe if he really did destroy it, he could tell us how to destroy the lot of them!" said Ron.

"Or she," Hermione corrected haughtily. Ron just rolled his eyes again.

Hermione frowned. She knew that the chances of this R.A.B. even being alive were slim at best. But he agreed with Harry; they had to tell the Order.

At fifteen till then, the trio started their journey to the Headmistress McGonagall's office. Hermione still had a difficult time thinking of her as Minerva.

When they arrived, they found the Headmistress waiting for them. Her robes were chosen for the occasion, orange and black and twinkling as if lights were woven into the fabric. Hermione giggled at her classic pointed hat.

"Are you three ready?" McGonagall asked. This was the trio's first official meeting in which the entire Order would be present for the most part. The past meetings they attended had been simple reports which only lasted half an hour tops and then they were rushed back to school. This meeting, however, was the real deal. "I imagine you're all anxious, but don't feel pressured to contribute; it's fine to simply listen."

"Actually, we have something we'd like to-er-show you all and ask for help with," Hermione blurted nervously. McGonagall's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Well then, I suppose we should get going." McGonagall tossed a pinch of Floo powder into the fireplace. Hermione winced as the flames glowed green; she hated Floo travel.

Harry stepped into the flame and disappeared as if swallowed. Ron followed him shortly after, leaving Hermione alone with McGonagall once again.

* * *

Hermione looked over at the sleeping portrait of Dumbledore and sighed. "I miss feeling safe," she said. She hadn't meant to speak out loud, but McGonagall was surprisingly easy to talk to. "But I suppose we all have to grow up and make ourselves feel safe."

"You three have had to grow up far too quickly. I wish I could still protect you…but I'm simply unable. That's why I wanted you in the Order." Hermione probably should have been shocked that it was the Headmistress who had suggested they join the Order, but she wasn't. It made sense, in a strange way. McGonagall reached out and squeezed Hermione's shoulder affectionately.

"I remember quite vividly the war that took James and Lily Potter's lives. I trembled when I realized I would once again fight the Dark Lord," McGonagall said quietly. She was staring into the flames and Hermione wondered what she was really seeing. "You will see horrors you only ever imagined in your darkest nightmares, Hermione. You will be forced to defend yourself and those you love, and sometimes you'll fail. I wish I could shelter you three from it but I can't. The only thing I can do for you is help in any way that I can. The Order can offer you that help. Even if we have to let you go and find the Horcruxes on your own, we will still be here."

And with that, McGonagall gave Hermione a bit of a push. Hermione stepped into the flames, more uncertain about her future than she had ever been before.

Hermione stepped out of the fireplace and into the cozy but bustling sitting area. Hermione scanned the small crowd a few times, unable to find her two best friends, but grimaced as a pair of icy blue eyes met hers.

"Hello Granger," drawled Draco Malfoy as he approached nonchalantly. Hermione bristled, her body preparing for a fight.

"What do you want Malfoy?" she snapped, her hand itching for her wand.

Malfoy put his hands up in a gesture of peace. "No need for aggression, Granger," he smirked. "Haven't you heard? We're on the same side now."

"That's to be seen," she snorted. She didn't believe for a moment that Draco Malfoy had had some life-altering revelation that lead him to change his life. Perhaps he changed sides for self-preservation; Voldemort had sent him on a suicide mission after all. It didn't matter what side he fought on, he was still a little self-important welp.

"Draco," a voice growled from behind Hermione. She glanced back and smiled up at Remus who was looming over her. He smiled down at her quickly and put a protective arm around her shoulders.

"Is young Malfoy here bothering you?" Remus asked, fixing Malfoy with a steely gaze.

"I'm fine, thank you Remus," she answered softly.

"Well, what an interesting turn of events. Seems everyone is protective of you," Malfoy chuckled. "Now I realize why Tonks has taken such a disliking to you, Granger. Fair enough, I'll go bother Potty and his little sidekick. Still need to rub our win in their faces."

As Draco was walking away, Remus opened his mouth to say something that surely would have shocked Hermione, but was interrupted by McGonagall calling the meeting to begin. Hermione settled down on the couch next to Ron and Harry, Remus squeezing in next to her.

"Hermione has informed me that she, Potter, and Weasley need our assistance," McGonagall said after everyone had quieted down. "Please explain."

Hermione, Harry, and Ron shared a brief glance before Harry launched into a story he had not told to anyone else except for his two best friends. He went into detail about his visit to the cave with Dumbledore. His story varied slightly from the version he'd told Hermione and Ron. He left out having to force feed Dumbledore a potion that made him hallucinate, and Hermione understood. She wouldn't have wanted to talk about that either.

"And so, we need help figuring out who this R.A.B. bloke might be. We've got to find out if he's alive, and if so, how he destroyed the Horcrux, if he did do," Harry finished.

"Someone close to You-Know-Who?" Remus mused out loud. "A Death Eater? Is it possible, Severus?"

Hermione hadn't seen Snape when she'd arrived, nor had she noticed him sitting in the chair by the fireplace. He looked up and their eyes met for a moment, but he quickly looked elsewhere.

"Most likely, if this person was truly close to the Dark Lord as he claims," he drawled.

"Has there ever been a Death Eater with those initials?" asked Harry. Hermione was slightly surprised to hear Harry addressing Snape in an almost civil manner.

Snape was quiet for a moment, turning to stare into the fire. Suddenly, his eyes widened slightly and he stood quickly, pulling his wand from his sleeve.

"I think I may know who…but I need to go to Grimmauld Place to check something," he said.

"Take someone with you," McGonagall insisted.

"I was going to suggest our newest recruits accompany me," Snape said, his eyes meeting Hermione's once more.

"Then I'm going as well," said Remus, standing.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Don't trust me, Remus?" he asked.

Remus glowered. "You know I do, Severus," he said, but offered no explanation at his insistence to go.

"Very well," Snape said with a shrug. "Do either of you three have your Apparation license?"

Hermione nodded. "I'm the only one."

"Remus, you take Potter as a side-along. I'll take young Weasley here," said Snape. Ron visibly paled.

"Return as quickly as possible," McGonagall said. "Send your Patronus if you run into trouble."

Hermione looked at McGonagall quizzically, but just as she was about to ask what she'd meant, Snape tapped her shoulder.

"It is best we hurry, Hermione," he said. "One day I'll show you how to send your Patronus in times of distress." Hermione couldn't help but smile at him. _I didn't know he knew me so well_, she thought. She was also happy that he'd accepted her invitation to call her by her given name.

Harry and Remus was the first pair to disapparate. Hermione followed suit, as well as Snape and Ron, and soon the five Wizard's and Witch found themselves in the House of Black.

Harry and Remus both looked uneasy. Harry hadn't been to Grimmauld place since Sirius' death, and she knew this wouldn't be an easy trip for him. And Remus; she knew that the death of his last remaining best friend from his Hogwarts days had wounded him deeply. She hoped that they would find whatever Snape was looking for quickly.

"Why have you brought us here, Severus?" Remus asked, his wand out and shining a pale light. Everyone else quickly followed his example.

"The bedrooms are upstairs, I presume?" Snape asked. Though he'd been to the former headquarters several times, Hermione supposed he'd had no need to search out any of the bedrooms. Remus nodded curtly, leading the way.

Hermione's eyes darted around the darkness. She did her best to see through the near pitch black that surrounded them. They tip-toed past the portrait of Mistress Black, Sirius' mother, so not to disturb it and cause her to go into a rage of screams. During her time at the previous headquarters in the summer before their fifth year, Hermione had suffered through many bouts of Mistress Black's rages, being called a filthy mudblood whore more times than she could count. Hermione had felt great pity for Sirius, having had to be raised by such a vile banshee.

The stairs creaked beneath their feet and Hermione's curiosity had nearly overwhelmed her by the time they reached the top.

"Professor, please, what are you looking for?" she blurted as the group came to a sudden stop in front of one of the doors.

"I believe we have found the mysterious R.A.B.," Snape said, moving aside to allow Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Remus a better look.

A piece of parchment was nailed to the front of the door.

**_Do Not Enter_**

**_Without Express Permisson_**

**_of Regulus Arcturus Black_**

"Sirius' brother?" Hermione gasped. Harry nodded, his face pale and mouth dropped open.

"He was a Death Eater. Sirius told me about him," said Harry, eyeing Snape. "You knew him?"

Snape nodded. "We were Housemates of course, and I knew him when he joined the Dark Lord's ranks. He was young and had only been given a glorified view of the Death Eater lifestyle."

"Sirius said he tried to back out and Voldemort killed him. Maybe Sirius had it wrong," said Harry with a sigh.

Snape winced when Harry said Voldemort's name aloud. Hermione didn't understand how he of all people could fear something as small as a name.

"Those were the rumors I heard as well," Snape said solemnly.

"Well, if that's not how he really died, then what happened?" Ron asked. "And did he destroy the locked?"

"Well, I bet I know who would have some kind of an idea…" Harry raced down the stairs and through the house, leading them all into the kitchen.

"Kreacher!" Harry shouted. Soon after, the tell-tale pop of Apparation filled the room.

"Master summons Kreacher," came the gnarled, frog like voice of the hunchbacked House-elf. "Potter boy my master now. Dirty blood traitor. Oh, look what filth Master brings into my Mistress' house."

"Enough!" Harry barked. "Tell me everything you know about Regulus Black and Salazar Slytherin's locket!"

**Authors Note: Voila! New chappy! I'm so pleased I got this up before Christmas! I'm slightly more pleased with this chapter than the last. At first this chapter was much longer, but I realized that it was really two chapters combined in one so I split it. I felt this was a nice way to end the chapter and it was a decent length. 8 pages on a word document anyhow. Well, I hope you are all enjoying this! Read and review please, it really does make me happy to read reviews and hear what people think. Where do you think things are headed with Hermione and Severus? Or Hermione and Remus? I love reading opinions! Well, happy Christmas all and stay safe and warm! -Alison**


	7. Chapter 7 Confession of a Werewolf

Chapter 7

Severus was tired.

When Severus, Remus, and the three young Gryffindor's arrived back at Headquarters, Severus wanted nothing more than to lock himself in his rooms and sleep. Alas, Minerva insisted on an immediate and full report of their findings. He let Potter do all the talking. He was quite content to sit in his chair and listen.

Potter recounted the conversation in its entirety, though he thoughtfully left out Kreacher's rants about Mudbloods and his constant need to punish himself.

Apparently, Regulus Black had been just a sliver more intelligent than his brother Sirius. During the first war when the Dark Lord was in need of a House Elf and Regulus, wanting to learn the secrets to his immortality, volunteered Kreacher. Kreacher had been taken to the same cave that Harry and Dumbledore had visited. Harry didn't speak at length about what had happened when he and Dumbledore had ventured into the cave, but from the details that Kreacher had given them, Severus had been able to piece a few things together.

The story of Regulus Black's death had been chilling. Kreacher had told his master about what his errand for the Dark Lord had entailed. It had confirmed his suspicious; his master was using Horcrux's to stay alive. Kreacher had said that Master Black had been plagued with nightmares since joining the Death Eaters. He'd believed in blood purity, but not brutality and depravity. Regulus had put his faith in a genocidal monster.

And so Regulus sought out to thwart the Dark Lord in any way he possibly could. He ordered Kreacher to take him to the cave. It was there that Regulus switched the lockets, giving the real one to Kreacher with explicit instructions to see to its destruction…and then he walked into the lake and let the Inferi take him under to the depths. Unable to destroy the locket, Kreacher hid it away.

"I wish Sirius had known," Remus said barely above a whisper. "I wish he'd known his brother had tried to make it right."

Severus saw Hermione reach over and squeeze his hand. Remus looked at her as if she were an angel. Severus' eyes found Tonks and noted the angry yet heartbroken look that flew across her face, her hair changing between a bright red and a sad looking blue as rapidly as her expression.

Severus also felt a sudden surge of anger flow through his body. He pushed the emotion down, mentally stomping them like a flame needing to be put out. Where had that come from? Severus tried to reason with himself, thinking that of course he would feel mildly protective of the young woman after all she had gone through. It had always been his duty to help keep her safe, that instinct would not be quelled easily.

He forced himself to look away. Hermione Granger was of age and a full member of the Order. She didn't need his protection, nor would she want it he was sure. But Severus couldn't help but wonder if she was aware of Remus' feelings. He wasn't being subtle. And did the young Gryffindor return the Werewolf's affections?

"None of that helps us concerning the real locket," said Kingsley Shaklebolt, interrupting Severus' thoughts.

"There's the rub," said Harry bitingly. "It was stolen, along with a lot of other things from the house."

"But who would be stupid enough to steal from the Black house?" Molly asked. Severus rolled his eyes. He'd assumed everyone would have caught on by now.

"Dung," said the Weasley twins in unison. Knowing those two, they'd helped him pinch some items if it would earn them a pound.

"So," said Ron. "Anyone know where Dung might be holing up these days? It's clear he isn't here."

"Very astute, Mr. Weasley," Severus said dryly. "We found Mundungus to be…untrustworthy."

"Shocker, that," said Molly under her breath. "I told you all he wasn't to be trusted."

"Yes, well, nothing can be done about it now," said Minerva. "Tomorrow some of us will go searching for Mr. Fletcher. You three may be close to your first Horcrux," she added to the young Gryffindor's.

When the meeting adjourned, the party began. With a wave of Molly's wand, the kitchen counters and table filled with food. The delicious scent wafted into the sitting area and many Witches and Wizards dashed off in search of their origins.

Severus looked on as Remus stood and held his hand out to Hermione. Severus could hear him ask to take a stroll with him outside. As he watched the pair walk out the door and into the darkness, he rose from his seat and escaped to the library; his haven. Suddenly he didn't feel as hungry.

* * *

Hermione was still a little bit in shock. How had they not thought of Sirius' brother being an option? It had been so obvious! R.A.B.! She shared Remus' sadness over the fact that Sirius died without knowing the truth about his brother. Sirius had spoken as if they'd hated one another. Hermione hoped that they found one another in the afterlife and became the brothers they always should have been, doing in death what they never got the chance to do in life.

"Hermione?" Remus said, tapping her on the shoulder. She was pulled from her thoughts as Remus asked her to join him for a walk. She said okay and took his hand, him helping her from the chair. The air was rigid and Hermione shivered violently when a gust of wind blew across her face when they stepped off the porch and onto the trail.

"Perhaps a walk is a bad idea," Remus said apologetically. "Why don't we go back to the porch and sit on the hammock for a bit?" Hermione nodded enthusiastically and raced to the porch. Sitting in the hammock, she thought about the night she was admitted into the order. It was then she noticed that Remus' behavior toward her had changed. And now here they were again, the only difference being the moon was not as dominant in the sky.

Their silence was heavy, stretching into the darkness and leaving her feeling anxious. She glanced over to Remus and, with help of the light from the diminishing moon, she saw his face was serious and thoughtful.

"Thinking about Regulus?" she asked softly, as if the silence between them was glass she was afraid might shatter. He blinked at her, confused. "I'm sorry, you just seemed so deep in thought. I know the news of Regulus' true nature came as a shock for you."

He nodded his jaw tense. "It does upset me. I wish Regulus had come to us for help, but I know why he didn't and for that, I feel ashamed."

Hermione reached over and squeezed his arm. "He would have died regardless, Remus. Voldemort wouldn't have rested until Regulus was dead. He felt ashamed for what he'd been a part of and tried to make it right."

"Then why commit suicide?" Remus asked.

"Maybe he felt as if his blood was payment for the terrible things he had aided in," she replied.

"You're probably right," he said. Remus stared at her for a moment, as if fascinated. "How can someone so young and beautiful be so wise?" he asked, his voice breathy. Hermione did her best to keep her mouth from flopping open.

"Beautiful?" she asked. "You…you think I'm…but I'm not…Tonks, she's beautiful! I'm just…" she stammered on until Remus silenced her with a finger pressed softly to her lips.

"I have something I need to say Hermione," Remus said, suddenly but softly. "Will you listen, and not respond until I'm done? When I'm through, if you choose to get up and walk away, I won't blame you. But will you listen?"

Hermione's stomach began to knot. Half of her wanted to stay and hear what Remus had to say, but the other half wanted to run back inside to Harry and Ron. But she found herself nodding and bracing herself for whatever might come next.

Remus took a deep breath. Hermione had never seen him look so nervous in the four years she had known him. He was extremely brave and to see him act any other way made her very anxious.

He looked at her and opened his mouth only to close it again. She couldn't help but smile a little. He was acting like a frightened school boy.

"Remus, you know that you can talk to me," she said gently.

"I wish it were that simple," he laughed lightly.

"Then make it simple," she replied. He took another deep breath and set his jaw. He'd built up the tension so much that the words he spoke next did sound incredibly _simple_, yet they were monumental.

"I love you, Hermione," Remus said softly but steady. His eyes never left hers and somehow, shehe knew that he was being sincere. She no longer cared about looking like a gaping fish so she let her mouth dropp open in a cartoonish fashion. She'd expected perhaps an admission of attraction, but even that had been a stretch in her mind. She made good of her word, however, and remained silent.

"I know I have no right to love you," Remus continued, he took her hands into his, rubbing them when he felt how cold they were. "Not only am I twenty years your senior, I'm not even a whole man…I will understand if you don't feel the same, or don't want to pursue anything with me. I won't blame you or treat you any differently. I just needed you to know."

She stayed silent until he finished speaking. She didn't have any words to speak anyway! She had never been in this kind of situation and no amount of reading could have prepared her.

"Say something, the silence is making me nervous," Remus tried to laugh but he was beginning to sound more shaken.

After a long moment, Hermione drew in a long breath. "Well," she said. "I guess Tonks is really going to hate me now."

Remus dropped her hands and threw his head back in relieved laughter. The worry lines disappeared and Hermione found herself admiring his smile.

"So you aren't completely disgusted with me?" he asked. She started.

"Remus, absolutely not! I'm surprised-shocked, really-and completely out of my element, but I am most definitely not disgusted!"

Remus sighed, clearly pleased with her reply, and leaned back in the hammock making it rock a little.

"So…what happens now?" Hermione asked, feeling ever so inexperienced. Remus smiled sweetly.

"That, my dear, is completely up to you," said Remus. "I'm not going to push you for anything. I assume you want time to think this over, maybe talk to Harry and Ron?"

Hermione grinned sheepishly. She hadn't realized how well Remus knew her. The academic part of her needed time to process the information and evaluate it piece by piece. And yes, she needed the aid of her best friends. She also didn't want to make the same mistake she'd made during her fourth year with Viktor Krum. Blindsiding Harry and Ron with whatever was possibly happening with Remus and she would do nothing but cause friction. She definitely needed to see what they thought.

"Why me, Remus?" she asked. "Of all the other-better-women out there, like Tonks. Why me?"

Remus turned his body fully toward her and took her hand once again. He looked at her with such intensity that it made her short of breath.

"You are so much more than you see, Hermione. So much more…"

Before Hermione knew what was happening, Remus had reached up and caressed her cheek. He leaned in and their lips met briefly, so briefly she wouldn't have known it had happened if her lips weren't left tingling.

"I'm sorry," he said, leaning his forehead against hers briefly. "I promised I wouldn't push. Forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive," Hermione replied, smiling. They sat in comfortable silence until the front door opened to reveal Harry coming outside to look for her.

"Ron thought you'd been taken captives by Death Eaters," he said. When he stepped closer, Hermione wrinkled her nose.

"Why do you smell like something dead?" she asked.

"Fred shoved a Dung-Bomb in my trousers," Harry said with a sour face.

Hermione giggled. "I suppose we should go back inside," she said. Remus rose and held out his hand to help her to her feet. Harry went into the house quickly, muttering something about Bat-Bogey's and Fred. Remus chuckled, pausing just outside the door.

"I thank you for listening, Hermione. I will give you space to think things through," he said, touching her cheek gently for a moment.

"There is a lot to consider," Hermione said carefully. "How do you think the rest of the Order would feel if we…um…"

"I think Molly will take me to task, perhaps Minerva as well, but most won't have issue. Age differences are common in the Wizarding world due to our longevity."

Hermione nodded. "Well, I suppose we should go inside…" Hermione was surprised because she found herself not wanting to leave his side and share him with the crowd. When had this happened? When did she start enjoying having Remus to herself? She thought about kissing him in that moment, but she happened to glance up and saw something that quashed the urge.

Hermione's eyes met Snape's as he gazed out of the large bay windows of the library. From his vantage point, Snape had full view of the hammock and Hermione wondered if he'd seen the whole event unfold. For some reason, she hoped not. But as they gazed at one another, she felt for sure that he had witnessed the whole thing.

Hermione shook her head and stepped away from Remus, mentally shaking herself. _Who cares if Snape saw? _she chastised herself. Why should he care at all who she may or may not become involved with? But the look on Snape's face…He looked so haunted.

Hermione stepped forward and into the fray of the party, her mind wandering back and forth between two of her former professors who both were making her feel strange inside.

**Authors note: My sincere apologies for the delay in updating! I started school about a month ago and it has been insane so far. It is my last semester and I am determined to do well! BUT I do have up to chapter 13 written out, it's only in finding the time to type it up and edit it to my liking that I am struggling with. Thank you for your patience and please read and review! I love hearing what people like/dislike about my work. I also love to hear what people think will and or should happen between my characters! Again, I am very sorry but will continue to update my story as often as it is possible! -Ali **


	8. Chapter 8 Burning

Chapter 8

Severus was focused on the task at hand. In a temperature controlled room set up directly beneath the library, the Potions Master was finishing up batches of Pepper-Up and Dreamless Sleep Potion and also a batch of Veritaserum. He enjoyed being in the laboratory, methodically moving through the motions of brewing.

Potions making was where his genius lay. Though Severus was an intelligent man and a powerful Wizard, he'd always preferred the art of brewing to Charms or Transfiguration, though he was brilliant at both. But something about the Potions spoke to him, allowed him access a world of imagination that his everyday life denied him.

And in moments like this, Potions provided him with a sanctuary. He couldn't afford to let his mind wander too far from the task at hand, for everything took precise precision or could otherwise turn deadly. And nights like this, he did not want his mind to stray.

But after the last bottle was full, Severus was forced to sit behind his desk without his art to consume his mind. He even tried to read but still he found his thoughts plagued. After a while, Severus sat down the book and let his mind take him to a place he did not want to go.

Two days had passed since Halloween and there had been no sighting of Mundungus Fletcher. Rumor round Knockturn Alley was that he had sold a Death Eater a withered foot alleged to be cursed. When the Death Eater in question tried to use it, the foot simply emitted a sound much like a cough and burst into a cloud of dust. Fletcher had gone into hiding after this. Many choice members of the Order had searched high and low for him and yet only found whispers. Thieves always seemed to be one step ahead of those perusing them. The Order was confident he would be found, but time was of the essence. Arthur, Kingsley, Tonks, and others were being monitored at work very closely. Death Eater's known to the Order were moving up in the ranks at the Ministry and Severus was sure that the Dark Lord would make an assault any day. With control of the Ministry, the Dark Lord would have something he didn't have the last time he came into power: absolute control over the government. It was true at he'd had many spies and officials under his control, but he couldn't gain enough ground to be able to enforce his policies. But the Dark Lord rarely made the same mistake twice. This time he laid low, even after his return had been unveiled, only flexing his muscle to serve as a warning of things to come. He wanted the Wizarding World to know that he was there, gathering power, and he would make himself known soon enough. It was a psychological war, a strategy to spread fear throughout Britain. And it was working.

The Dark Lord had called Severus to a revel the night after Halloween. No one inquired as to why they had not been summoned the night before; everyone knew the consequences for questioning their Master. However, moments later as they were all gathering around a long dining table in Malfoy Manor, the Dark Lord revealed his reasons. Floating above the table, her body twisting in an unnatural fashion was Charity Burbage, Professor of Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. Severus' stomach had lurched and it'd taken all of his control and experience as a spy to keep himself from crying out to her.

His eyes caught Draco's and his resolve nearly shattered. The young Slytherin wore such a desperate look on his face. He'd pleaded to Severus with his eyes, silently begging to be allowed to rescues the blonde, slender women covered in bruises and blood.

But Severus had simply shaken his head discreetly and taken the empty seat next to Draco's father, Lucius Malfoy. Lucius looked gaunt and haggard, not yet recovered from his days in Azkaban. Having the Dark Lord residing in one's home would also cause one major discomfort as well.

The news of a mass breakout at Azkaban had been a blow to the Ministry, but the deflection of the Dementors crippled it. Albus had tried to warn Fudge that the creatures would be at the Dark Lord's side when the time called for it, but his words had fallen on deaf ears.

Severus then felt a chill fill the air and saw the Dark Lord Voldemort enter the room. Not even Lord Voldemort's walk was human anymore; he seemed to slither across the room, his black robes drooping off him like a snake shedding its skin. Peter Pettigrew, known as Wormtail, hobbled along behind him, followed closely by the Dark Lord's dreaded pet, the unnaturally large python Nagini.

"Ah, Severus," hissed the Dark Lord. "I am thankful you and Draco were able to slip away. This is quite the auspicious occasion!"

The Dark Lord took his seat at the head of the table. Wormtail remained standing and he shook and darted his eyes back and forth across the table, lingering on the women dangling in the air.

"Severus, Draco, I believe you are acquainted with Ms. Burbage," said the Dark Lord. "For those who are unaware, Ms. Burbage here teaches the subject of Muggle Studies to our _children_!"

The table exploded with shouts and profanity directed toward the already horrified and abused woman. Charity shrieked and looked as if she wanted to cover her face, but the spell she was under would not allow the movement.

Bellatrix Lestrange sprang from her seat and shouted, "_Filth_!" She pulled out her wand and cast the Cruciatus curse, and then spat in Charity's face. It took all of Severus' resolve to keep himself from clasping his hands over his ears to keep out the screams. In that moment, Severus hated Bellatrix with more passion than normally. The way she sneered up at Charity with rotted and blackened teeth that matched her heart, and hooded eyes that were crazed and full of bloodlust. Her wild hair cast a black halo round her head like an unholy angel.

Bellatrix Lestrange was very nearly as crazed as the Dark Lord himself.

"Draco," Lord Voldemort hissed as he allowed Nagini to slither up his deformed, pale body and coil around his neck. "Do you find this distasteful?"

Severus stiffened, his eyes on the young Malfoy, silently willing him to steel himself. Draco knew that if something went wrong, Severus could not save him.

Draco paled at being directly addressed but was clever enough not to answer. He averted his gaze to his lap and simply shook his head.

The Dark Lord smiled in a way that almost seemed a twisted form of being fatherly. "You are young yet, Draco," he said. "You do not have the stomach to do what must be done. But this blood traitor," he motioned to the floating and whimpering woman. "She helps mold the minds of our young! She treats Muggles as if they are equal to us who wield magic! She gives aid to _Mudbloods_! She must be punished!"

Draco's head jerked up and his narrowed ice blue eyes met the Dark Lord's blood red. Severus' heart began beating harder as Draco removed his wand from his robes.

"Draco, what are you-," Lucius hissed, eyes widened with fear. One could say many horrible things about Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, but no one could accuse them of not loving and cherishing their only son. Lucius would stand between his wife or son and the Dark Lord without as much as a thought.

But Draco did not raise his wand to the Dark Lord as Severus had feared. Draco stood and leveled his wand between the haunted eyes of Charity Burbage.

"Severus," Charity chocked out, sobbing. Her eyes met his, wild with fear and pain. "We're friends, Severus! Help me!" But her tears fell upon seemingly deaf ears. Severus met her gaze and made his face hard and cold as stone. He appeared completely unmoved. "Draco, think about what you're about to take part in! You're so young!" she shouted when Severus would not respond.

Severus knew what Draco was about to do and for a moment, he entertained the thought of letting him. But he knew Dumbledore would not have wanted it that way.

Severus stood up and pulled out his wand. He looked Charity in the eyes and she let her tears fall. They landed with a soft splash onto the table.

"Avada Kedavara!" he shouted. A flash of green light left the tip of his wand and hit its target. The lifeless body of Charity Burbage hit the table with a loud thud.

Lord Voldemort's laughter filled the room, his maniacal voice echoing off the stone walls of the manor.

"Nagini," he chuckled. "Dinner!"

* * *

Upon returning to Headquarters, Severus had flooed Minerva and she called an emergency Order meeting. Had Severus been in better humor he would have enjoyed seeing Minerva arrive in a nightgown with a robe hastily thrown over with her hair in curlers. He'd left it up to Draco to tell the tail and had fled to the library. He kept seeing the lifeless brown eyes of Charity Burbage.

Severus had laid down on the couch and put his arms over his eyes, willing himself to calm. He had been a spy for the past sixteen years and had seen many people perish. He'd also had a fair share of those people die by his hand or potions. But in sixteen years, none of those deaths had shaken him so. As he gazed into the unseeing eyes of the young Charity Burbage, he had not seen her face. He had seen Hermione Granger's. He had gazed into those copper brown eyes and his head had seized in his chest and he'd sucked in his breath, doing his best not to retch. The thought of her lying on the cold table, about to be consumed by a monstrous pet snake, had nearly brought him to his knees.

"Professor?" a whispering voice had come out of the darkness and the door creaked open slowly. "Are you awake?"

There was no doubt it was Hermione's unsure voice. Severus waved his wand and a fire roared to life in the fireplace. The flames cast the previously cold gray room in a warm orange light.

Hermione stepped out from behind the door and her slender frame was bathed in the fire's glow. In that light, not only was it the first time seeing her that night, but it seemed as if he were seeing her for the first time in his life. Her hair was wild, as if she'd jumped out of bed quickly after a night of tossing about. Her cheeks were flushed and her brown eyes wide. He looked away quickly. He could not look into her eyes.

Is there anything I can do, Professor?" she asked hesitantly. No doubt she thought that he would lash out at her, as she'd seemed poised to flee at any moment.

"Were you the unlucky chosen one to come check on me?" he asked, purposefully keeping his voice soft and tone joking. He wanted her to feel safe.

"No," she shook her head. "I came of my own accord. I…I was worried for you, sir."

Severus' whole frame shook and he buried his face in his hands. The person he had once wounded so badly, whom he had robbed of their hopes, had come to him alone, knowing his nature well, and was brave and caring enough to try to help him.

He heard the sound of her feet and felt a small hand timidly stroke his hair. He looked up slowly and into eyes that seemed so much older than their owners. She didn't jerk her hand away when their eyes met. She showed no fear, but he noticed the whites of her eyes were red and they were swollen from tears.

"I'm sorry," she choked out, tears falling from her eyes. She took her hand from his hair to wipe her face. "I'm sorry for crying." He looked down at the floor unable to see her grief. Charity had been her teacher. Once again he had slaughtered someone she cared for.

"It is I who am sorry," he said miserably. "You must think me a monster."

For a moment there was silence, and then Severus heard a sound that surprised him. Hermione Granger was giggling through steadily falling tears. He looked up and raised an eyebrow. She covered her mouth but he could still see a slight amused look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I've just had an astonishing revelation about you. You're just so…ridiculous!" She laughed out loud at this. At last, her tears ceased.

"Ridiculous? Elaborate," Severus demanded. Her smile faded and the sadness returned so quickly to her eyes. Severus regretted asking.

"You aren't a monster; you're a hero," she said softly. "You saved Professor Burbage from unimaginable torture, and you did it at great detriment to yourself, like you did with Professor Dumbledore. So tell me, how are you a monster?"

"Professors Dumbledore and Burbage are not the only people I have killed, Miss Granger," he sighed. "Not all those deaths have been caused by my hands alone, but I killed them none the less. How can I be anything _but_ a monster?" She would never understand. She didn't know what he'd done…

Hermione sat down on the couch next to him, close enough that their shoulders touched.

"Are you the same person that you were then?" she asked. Severus stayed silent and she smiled. "I think not."

Severus glanced down at the floor to avoid Hermione's gaze when he noticed something shocking.

"Hermione, your feet."

Hermione looked down and flushed, looking embarrassed. The silly girl had rushed out of bed and put on socks nor shoes. "They're cold," she muttered.

Before Severus knew what he was doing, he'd reached into his cloak and removed a vial full of a purple lotion from one of his many pockets. He tapped out a few drops into his palm. Severus then knelt down in front of her and pulled one foot at a time into his calloused, skilled hands and rubbed in the lotion. He heard her suck in her breath and he looked up, their eyes meeting. It suddenly struck him what he was doing, how intimate their position seemed. As the pair gazed at one another, Severus felt the urge to reach out to her and caress her cheek.

Suddenly, the door to the library swung open and Remus came striding into the room. Severus snatched his hand out of the air, only inches away from Hermione's glowing cheek.

"Hermione?" Remus questioned. "It's time for you to go." His voice had the edge of anger in it, sharp as steel. Severus stood up to his full height.

"Next time, you silly twit, I suggest wearing shoes," he sneered, doing his best to sound as cold as ice. Hermione's face went from stunned to deeply wounded. He hated that look on her face, especially when it was directed toward him. His eyes softened and he handed her the bottle of Warming Salve. "Keep it," he said more kindly.

Hermione stood and walked to Remus, who was extending a waiting hand to her. At the door, she paused and looked over her shoulder.

"Sleep well, Professor Snape," she said.

Before Remus could pull her from the room, Severus replied quickly. "I am no longer your professor."

Hermione turned fully toward him, a puzzled look on her face. She seemed to mull his words over before turning back toward the door.

"Sleep well…Severus." And she was gone.

And now here Severus sat in his laboratory a night later, still thinking about a young lady in pajamas and bare feet, trying to figure out why his whole body had burned at the sound of his name on her lips.

**Authors Note: AAAACCCCKKKK I'm so sorry this took forever to put out. I am in my last semester of college and the work is killing me slowly. I graduate April 27****th****, though! Woot! But yeah, the work load is intense and so I have very little free time to do as I please. I really loved writing this chapter, and did so a long time ago. I loved going back over it. I think it's such a tender moment. So, please as always read and review! I love to hear what you guys think of the story and I LOVE hearing predictions. Who do you think Hermione will end up with? Opinions? Suggestions? Anything guys, I love to hear it! Alright, I'm off to bed. Thanks so much for being patient with me! Pleaseeeeeeeeee review! **


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